What About Your Friends?

I was sitting up watching the playoffs last weekend when I realized that my lack of a social life is really starting to be an issue for me. It was evident that I don't have any male friends. Nobody to turn to and give some dap when our team scores a touchdown or hits a game winning three pointer. Nobody to hit the newest hot spot with to check out all the ladies in their sexy new outfits. When I go out, I am usually all by myself or on a date. As a Gemini, I am supposed to be a very gregarious person who has great conversation and enjoys meeting new people. When I take a good look at the people in my life, I see a group of women who are there to support, chastise, encourage and love me. Where are the brothers? I must admit that I get along better with women. Most of the men in my life exist from a distance. I work in an environment that is filled with women. The only guys are old white men and gay black dudes. I'm open-minded but I don't really have anything in common with either of these groups.

It hasn't always been this way for me. When I was a shorty, my two best buddies were Shane and Anthony. We did everything together from little league football to playing smear-the-queer in Shane's backyard. Spent so much time together that we were practically the other child in each other's homes with chores and punishments to prove it. I moved after elementary school but quickly made new friends in Jeff, Robbie and Anthony. Being a little older, our activities were a little more mature. We enjoyed going to the mall, getting numbers and grabbing booties in the hallways of our school. College brought roommates like Kevin, Tim, and Preston. This group was really wild. By the time we left the Atlanta University Center, we were known around campus for getting the party started. We all moved on after college with the responsibilities of adulthood like real jobs, marriages and kids. All but me, relocated to another city.

I couldn't tell you if my friends from elementary and high school are alive or dead. This past fall, I did reconnect with two of my roommates from college though. Each of them had moved back to their respective hometowns and established a life there. It was great to talk to them after so much time but it was clear that everything that we shared seemed like ancient history. The distance and time between us will probably keep us from having that close bond that we once shared. However, if they ever called me in a time of need I would do anything that I could to help them.

Despite all this, I really love meeting new people and getting to know them. I think it is fascinating how you can connect(or not connect)with someone who just a minute ago was a perfect stranger. The energy and excitement of making new friends is unbelievable. Either I've put up too many walls or my Gemini nature is too sometimey for people to deal with because I have so much trouble making and keeping friends. What's your secret? Does your circle of friends still include people from your childhood? Give me some practical advise!


CazualC said...

I never had a lot of girlfriends and the few I do have are all back on the East coast. We talk on the phone all the time but it would be nice to see them on a daily basis. I miss that real girlfriend interaction and I hate to admit it, but I am a little jealous when I see a group of girls or guys hanging out. One thing I can say for my homies, they show me lots of love whenever I go back home.

I don't know that I have any advice for you because I know that true friends are hard to find.

Good Luck

Vivrant Thang said...

Interestingly enough, I'm dealing with a similar thing where I was recently bemoaning the fact that I don't have any platonic male friends. I used to have that in hs and every since then, I've just always connected better with females. I need that male energy and I am setting a goal to meet at least one male friend this year.

My circle of friends includes a couple I still know from hs, a few from college, and most have been gained in the past four or five years.

I really don't have a secret to keeping friends. I'm really surprised they stick around since I'm horrible at keeping in touch! But I'm a bundle of joy so it's hard to leave me alone.

I met a cool chick on Craigslist a while back in the activity partners section. I also suggest getting out more and doing the things you like - like attending live shows. Music brings people together. I met someone quite randomly just hanging out after a show. We're already planning our next activity.

MsPuddin said...

I used to have a lot of guy friends. Part of it was because I have four brothers and part of it is because girls can be so petty and dramatic. I’ve been hanging out with more females lately, I guess I just had to find the right ones for me.

Get out there skoolboi, don’t be shy.

Skoolboi Krush said...

CazualC - Thanks! I get that jealous feeling myself.

Vivrant - A bundle of joy, huh?

Puddin - I used to be shy but I think I've come out of my shell in recent years.