I told y'all a while back that for some reason people tend to come to me for relationship advice. I guess they don't hear all my stories about sabotaging perfectly good things or having a knack for saying just the wrong thing at the right time. Last week, one of my new employees came over to my desk to ask me what he should do about a young lady he was "seeing", really that he was fucking. I sat him down and asked him to give me a little background on the situation. “Krush, I just don’t understand why a woman who knows I’m not looking for a relationship would still catch feelings.” I immediately knew he was in trouble but I wanted to hear the entire story laid out before I said anything.
Apparently, he and this young lady had gone to college together and for the past year had been sex partners. That was a red flag for me because in my opinion those types of relationships are temporary by design. After some time, you need to move on because you’ve gotten involved with someone else or god-forbid you want to try to turn it into a real relationship. To further complicate this particular situation, my co-worker had been spending significant boyfriend time with a chick he says he only views as a jump-off. By boyfriend time, I’m talking about going over for home-cooked meals, movie nights, and even hanging with her and her friends. Nothing wrong with any of that but it’s not exactly the ideal thing to do if you don’t want a woman to start feeling you. So as can be expected, the young lady has decided that she wants to take this thing to the next level. You can’t really blame her. However, dude has a full roster of chicks that he isn’t trying to give up. Settling down is the last thing on his mind. Did I mention we are talking about some babies here? Both of them are twenty-four.
The kicker to his sob story was that he had paid homegirl’s electric bill a couple months prior. As soon as he told me that I said, “Hell, if you pay any bill in my house, we go together. I can see why she is expecting this to turn into something.” All he could say to me was, “I have always told her that I didn’t want a relationship.” Shaking my head was the only thing I could do at that point. This was a line that men have uttered over and over again when trying to figure out just what went wrong in their attempts to be a player. I’ve said it a few times myself. I told him about his violations of the rules of a jump-off and he said that he just couldn’t be that cold about it. He needed to spend some time with this woman and admitted that the sex was too good for him to act any differently. My response, “If you don’t have the heart to be a player, get a girlfriend.”
That’s a lesson I learned early. I could never be a player so I don’t even try to live that life. Unfortunately, I’m not good a relationships either. Guess I’ll be a lonely old man. My young co-worker should take this a fork in the road and change his game. By the way, I’m not even going to tell y’all about the chick who acted a fool at his momma’s house the same weekend. However, its spring time and he wasn't trying to hear what I was telling him. We will be back here in a matter of months.
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
5.23.2010
7.06.2009
Fellas, Save Your Relationship
I'm trying to take some of this advice.
1. After your next screaming match, right before the makeup sex, don't bother with the "I love you" cliché. Just tell her, "You know, you're the only person I'd ever tolerate talking to me like that. You're that amazing."
2. No screaming matches lately? Have one, fast. If she's screaming at you, she still gives a damn. Silence from a woman means something has died. (Or will die. Tonight. In his sleep.)
3. Drop this bomb: "You remember the time we [insert personal-best sex saga here]? I bet we could do even better."
4. Thinking about leaving her? Think about this first: No woman is perfect. The next one you pick up could indeed be cooler, hornier, and wealthier. But you'll soon grow tired of her crap, too.
5. Maul her for 10 seconds when she least expects it. A mini-maul here, a mini-maul there. Next thing you know, you'll have a strip-maul.
6. All the stuff you'd want after a breakup—nights on the town, drop-of-a-hat vacations, those long-put-off season tickets—you can enjoy right now. With a built-in date. So pick something fun and do it.
7. Learn a new sport together—like golf or fencing—that encourages you to admire each other's form.
8. As you ask your buddy for counsel on your girl's dropping temperature and increasing distance, did it ever occur to you to ask her?
9. Go Gomez Addams on her. Speak Spanish. Dance the Mamushka. Kiss her from her wrist to her armpit. Blow up a train set together. Cara mia!
10. Commit an unsolicited act of cleanliness.
11. This weekend, take her to the grocery store to buy ingredients for a great dinner. Also pick up food specifically earmarked as body paint.
12. You're both 10 excess pounds away from feeling good about yourselves again. Drop 'em together. It'll be you and her against the world, just like old times.
13. You haven't offered up a late-night post coital confession in a very long time. Surprise her.
14. Reinstate one courtesy toward her that's been lost since your courtship: opening the car door for her, bringing her flowers, holding in your gas.
15. Organize a cheesy diamond-commercial moment—like reproposing to her at Trafalgar Square in front of family. Overwrought? Yeah, but do the math: jewelry + effort + pigeons + her parents = months of rough sex.
16. Tried everything on this list and she's still unresponsive? It's time to smile, hold her hand, and offer her these five risky words: "Now it's up to you."
1. After your next screaming match, right before the makeup sex, don't bother with the "I love you" cliché. Just tell her, "You know, you're the only person I'd ever tolerate talking to me like that. You're that amazing."
2. No screaming matches lately? Have one, fast. If she's screaming at you, she still gives a damn. Silence from a woman means something has died. (Or will die. Tonight. In his sleep.)
3. Drop this bomb: "You remember the time we [insert personal-best sex saga here]? I bet we could do even better."
4. Thinking about leaving her? Think about this first: No woman is perfect. The next one you pick up could indeed be cooler, hornier, and wealthier. But you'll soon grow tired of her crap, too.
5. Maul her for 10 seconds when she least expects it. A mini-maul here, a mini-maul there. Next thing you know, you'll have a strip-maul.
6. All the stuff you'd want after a breakup—nights on the town, drop-of-a-hat vacations, those long-put-off season tickets—you can enjoy right now. With a built-in date. So pick something fun and do it.
7. Learn a new sport together—like golf or fencing—that encourages you to admire each other's form.
8. As you ask your buddy for counsel on your girl's dropping temperature and increasing distance, did it ever occur to you to ask her?
9. Go Gomez Addams on her. Speak Spanish. Dance the Mamushka. Kiss her from her wrist to her armpit. Blow up a train set together. Cara mia!
10. Commit an unsolicited act of cleanliness.
11. This weekend, take her to the grocery store to buy ingredients for a great dinner. Also pick up food specifically earmarked as body paint.
12. You're both 10 excess pounds away from feeling good about yourselves again. Drop 'em together. It'll be you and her against the world, just like old times.
13. You haven't offered up a late-night post coital confession in a very long time. Surprise her.
14. Reinstate one courtesy toward her that's been lost since your courtship: opening the car door for her, bringing her flowers, holding in your gas.
15. Organize a cheesy diamond-commercial moment—like reproposing to her at Trafalgar Square in front of family. Overwrought? Yeah, but do the math: jewelry + effort + pigeons + her parents = months of rough sex.
16. Tried everything on this list and she's still unresponsive? It's time to smile, hold her hand, and offer her these five risky words: "Now it's up to you."
6.11.2009
Crazy Is The New Sexy
The year was 1990. I was doing a summer internship at the Boeing Company in Seattle (Technically, it was Renton but y’all do not know anything about that). Anyway, my dude AB’s mom gives me a call and says that a young female friend of the family is in town for the summer and interning with Boeing as well. The girl was a member of Jack & Jill along with AB and his little sister. AB’s mom wanted to know if would mind hanging out with her and showing her around town until she made some friends at work. I was a little apprehensive about it because if she was wack I would have to figure out a way to ditch her without having AB’s mom call my mom and tell her how trifling her son was. In addition, I was just beginning to gain my confidence and come into my own. With a little money in my pocket from the internship, I had plans of getting my Mack on big time that summer. All of this went through my head in the thirty seconds between her asking the question and my reply, “No ma’am, I would love to show her around.”
That Saturday morning, I hit the barbershop and then headed out to AB’s crib to meet this chick for the first time. Mind you, I was gaining confidence but was not comfortable around women, especially attractive ones. When I rang the doorbell, I could feel a trickle of sweat going down the center of my back. It was only about 70 degrees that day. Lump in my throat as she opened the door. Standing in front of me was one of the most attractive young women I had ever seen and she was smiling in my direction. I extended my hand, “Hi. I’m Krush!” She said, “Terri. Nice to meet you. I guess you are going to be my tour guide, huh?” This was going to be a good summer.
For the next several weeks, Terri and I hung out almost every day. She worked in a different location than I did but we would meet up for lunch along with our fellow interns. After work, we would go out for dinner or go shopping with our newly earned money. Terri turned out to be a cool chick that was into hip-hop, sneakers, and partying. She was also a big freak that wanted to get it in every chance she could. Yeah, it was a good summer. At least it started out that way.
I have a theory about attractive women that says the more attractive a woman is the more issues she will have. I got that theory from this summer and this woman. One of the signs that I ignored about Terri was that she would spazz out about the smallest things. For example, she had rented a car for the summer and had some trouble with it. I went with her to the rental place to exchange it for a different car. The place only had a few cars on the lot that were set aside for long-term rental. I guess none of them fit her style but she had no choice but to select something from what was available. I help her pick a car and we drive off the lot. No more than a block from the place, she starts crying and talking about she wants to go home to AZ. I am like, “It isn’t that bad. At least you aren’t catching the bus.” Why did I say that? She becomes even more hysterical and pulls over to a gas station to use the pay phone (When was the last time you used a pay phone?) and proceeded to call her mother and pitch a fit like an eight year old. Her mom even wanted to talk to me because Terri was not able to get the entire story out. At that point, I should have distanced myself but I felt sorry for her being alone and the sex was good. (That brings up another theory about crazy women having the best bedroom game)
As the summer progresses, she made other friends, in fact I heard some wild stories about her and a threesome. However, we still got together occasionally to do the damn thing. It was not anything exclusive so I did not think too much about it when I started seeing someone else. One particular Saturday, I went shopping with another intern from North Carolina A&T. It was one of those all day dates that included lunch, shopping, and a movie. This is before I ever had a cell phone or a pager. It turns out that Terri was trying to get in contact with me the entire day. She had called the house a couple times and called some of the other interns to see if I was hanging with them. By the time I reached my house, my mother appeared concerned and informed me that Terri had just left and that she seemed upset about something. She also informed me that my friend, Corey, had called and said that Terri had called him asking about my whereabouts. Okay, I already knew this chick was not wrapped too tight and my mom had confirmed my belief after their initial meeting. Just then, the doorbell rings. I open the door to Terri standing on the porch with hands on hips and an evil look in her eye. “I need to talk to you! Can we take a walk?”
As a young man, I thought I was invincible so there was no fear in my heart when I stepped out on the porch with her. We headed down my street to the park. Before I was more than one foot off my driveway, my mom appeared in the window above the garage, “Where are you going?” I told her that I was just walking to the park and would be right back. She was not pleased with my decision but she did not say anything else. I knew that she would be watching me from the window anyway. We walked in silence until we made it to the park and sat down on one of the tables near the tennis courts. I purposely picked the table that could be seen from my house.
“So where you been all day?”
“First, how are you doing?”
“I’m a little pissed off right now to be honest with you. I feel like you are trying to play me.”
“What are you talking about? Play you how?”
“Who were you with today?”
“A friend. Why? You asking questions like we are a couple or something.”
“I know we aren’t but I thought we were trying to build something here.”
“Look. It is the summer. When August gets here, you will go your way and I will be on the other side of the country. We are just having fun.”
Why did I say that? Next thing I know, she has a knife in her hand. To this day, I cannot tell you where it came from but there it was and she was looking at me with bad intentions. So I jump up and start moving backwards.
“What are you doing?”
She did not respond. Instead, she started walking out of the park and back up the street. We walked in silence as I trailed her up the block. She got into her car and sped off. As I entered the house, my mother greeted me at the door with, “I told you that child was crazy!”
Questions of the day: What are the signs you are dealing with someone crazy? Have you ever had a fatal attraction experience? Why do crazy people have the best sex?
NOTE: CL is the exception to the attractive women are crazy rule!
That Saturday morning, I hit the barbershop and then headed out to AB’s crib to meet this chick for the first time. Mind you, I was gaining confidence but was not comfortable around women, especially attractive ones. When I rang the doorbell, I could feel a trickle of sweat going down the center of my back. It was only about 70 degrees that day. Lump in my throat as she opened the door. Standing in front of me was one of the most attractive young women I had ever seen and she was smiling in my direction. I extended my hand, “Hi. I’m Krush!” She said, “Terri. Nice to meet you. I guess you are going to be my tour guide, huh?” This was going to be a good summer.
For the next several weeks, Terri and I hung out almost every day. She worked in a different location than I did but we would meet up for lunch along with our fellow interns. After work, we would go out for dinner or go shopping with our newly earned money. Terri turned out to be a cool chick that was into hip-hop, sneakers, and partying. She was also a big freak that wanted to get it in every chance she could. Yeah, it was a good summer. At least it started out that way.
I have a theory about attractive women that says the more attractive a woman is the more issues she will have. I got that theory from this summer and this woman. One of the signs that I ignored about Terri was that she would spazz out about the smallest things. For example, she had rented a car for the summer and had some trouble with it. I went with her to the rental place to exchange it for a different car. The place only had a few cars on the lot that were set aside for long-term rental. I guess none of them fit her style but she had no choice but to select something from what was available. I help her pick a car and we drive off the lot. No more than a block from the place, she starts crying and talking about she wants to go home to AZ. I am like, “It isn’t that bad. At least you aren’t catching the bus.” Why did I say that? She becomes even more hysterical and pulls over to a gas station to use the pay phone (When was the last time you used a pay phone?) and proceeded to call her mother and pitch a fit like an eight year old. Her mom even wanted to talk to me because Terri was not able to get the entire story out. At that point, I should have distanced myself but I felt sorry for her being alone and the sex was good. (That brings up another theory about crazy women having the best bedroom game)
As the summer progresses, she made other friends, in fact I heard some wild stories about her and a threesome. However, we still got together occasionally to do the damn thing. It was not anything exclusive so I did not think too much about it when I started seeing someone else. One particular Saturday, I went shopping with another intern from North Carolina A&T. It was one of those all day dates that included lunch, shopping, and a movie. This is before I ever had a cell phone or a pager. It turns out that Terri was trying to get in contact with me the entire day. She had called the house a couple times and called some of the other interns to see if I was hanging with them. By the time I reached my house, my mother appeared concerned and informed me that Terri had just left and that she seemed upset about something. She also informed me that my friend, Corey, had called and said that Terri had called him asking about my whereabouts. Okay, I already knew this chick was not wrapped too tight and my mom had confirmed my belief after their initial meeting. Just then, the doorbell rings. I open the door to Terri standing on the porch with hands on hips and an evil look in her eye. “I need to talk to you! Can we take a walk?”
As a young man, I thought I was invincible so there was no fear in my heart when I stepped out on the porch with her. We headed down my street to the park. Before I was more than one foot off my driveway, my mom appeared in the window above the garage, “Where are you going?” I told her that I was just walking to the park and would be right back. She was not pleased with my decision but she did not say anything else. I knew that she would be watching me from the window anyway. We walked in silence until we made it to the park and sat down on one of the tables near the tennis courts. I purposely picked the table that could be seen from my house.
“So where you been all day?”
“First, how are you doing?”
“I’m a little pissed off right now to be honest with you. I feel like you are trying to play me.”
“What are you talking about? Play you how?”
“Who were you with today?”
“A friend. Why? You asking questions like we are a couple or something.”
“I know we aren’t but I thought we were trying to build something here.”
“Look. It is the summer. When August gets here, you will go your way and I will be on the other side of the country. We are just having fun.”
Why did I say that? Next thing I know, she has a knife in her hand. To this day, I cannot tell you where it came from but there it was and she was looking at me with bad intentions. So I jump up and start moving backwards.
“What are you doing?”
She did not respond. Instead, she started walking out of the park and back up the street. We walked in silence as I trailed her up the block. She got into her car and sped off. As I entered the house, my mother greeted me at the door with, “I told you that child was crazy!”
Questions of the day: What are the signs you are dealing with someone crazy? Have you ever had a fatal attraction experience? Why do crazy people have the best sex?
NOTE: CL is the exception to the attractive women are crazy rule!
5.13.2009
10 Ways Guys Mess Things Up
How many of these have I made? Let’s just say you need both hands to count them. Am I the only one who just can’t get right?
Ten Relationships Mistakes Men Make (and Just How Many Violations Do I Have):
1.Giving a woman too much power – If the woman is determining when you go out, when you make love, or who you can be friends with then that relationship isn’t going to last very long. A brother has to know his own worth and act accordingly. In one of those 80-20 scenarios, it is as if you do not feel worthy of the woman and you will do anything she says to keep her happy. Big mistake. Truth be told, she does not want to be in control either but she will do it if you do not step up to the plate.
2.Trying to invoke too much of your own control – As much as you should not give up all the control to your woman, you should not try to be too in control yourself. Nobody loves a tyrant. Finding a nice balance is essential to making a healthy happy relationship.
3.Believing that the good you do today will last until tomorrow – Despite what women say, you cannot build up goodwill that you can cash in whenever you mess up. The flowers and candy you gave her the other day do not mean anything today when you did not call her until the next morning after a night out with your friends.
4.Being domineering or overly possessive – No woman likes the overly jealous type or being told what to do. Even though she wants you to lead, she still wants to be treated with respect and as an equal. The funny thing is that I know women who do not think a guy really cares unless he gets jealous.
5.Allowing family members or friends to dictate what happens in the relationship - Opinions are like _____ and everybody has one. In the end, it is the couple’s decisions that matter and neither family nor friends should be influencing the direction of your relationship.
6.Always kissing up – Outside of the basic level of respect that you give all women, everything else must be earned. Do not place your SO on such a high pedestal that she does not remember the ground. This goes back to knowing your worth.
7.Complacency - Being tenacious and goal-oriented is all a woman wants in her man. You do not have to have the world (but she would love it if you did) yet. Show some progress and things will be fine.
8.Choosing a woman based on appearance alone – Yeah, she’s fine but does she make sense when she talks…are you compatible…what are her goals and ambitions? Guys can get caught up in the imagery that comes along with a woman and forget to look for the important things.
9.Placing someone (anyone) or something before your mate - This includes friends, relatives (See Mistake #5), co-workers, animals, your car, or your hobbies. If a woman feels like something or someone is more important to you than she is then she won’t hear anything you are trying to say.
10.Yielding to temptation from other women - For some reason, there are women who go after men that are already attached. Recognize those women and steer clear of them if you can. This might be number 10 but it is the easiest way to end up a victim of a Waiting to Exhale moment.
Ten Relationships Mistakes Men Make (and Just How Many Violations Do I Have):
1.Giving a woman too much power – If the woman is determining when you go out, when you make love, or who you can be friends with then that relationship isn’t going to last very long. A brother has to know his own worth and act accordingly. In one of those 80-20 scenarios, it is as if you do not feel worthy of the woman and you will do anything she says to keep her happy. Big mistake. Truth be told, she does not want to be in control either but she will do it if you do not step up to the plate.
2.Trying to invoke too much of your own control – As much as you should not give up all the control to your woman, you should not try to be too in control yourself. Nobody loves a tyrant. Finding a nice balance is essential to making a healthy happy relationship.
3.Believing that the good you do today will last until tomorrow – Despite what women say, you cannot build up goodwill that you can cash in whenever you mess up. The flowers and candy you gave her the other day do not mean anything today when you did not call her until the next morning after a night out with your friends.
4.Being domineering or overly possessive – No woman likes the overly jealous type or being told what to do. Even though she wants you to lead, she still wants to be treated with respect and as an equal. The funny thing is that I know women who do not think a guy really cares unless he gets jealous.
5.Allowing family members or friends to dictate what happens in the relationship - Opinions are like _____ and everybody has one. In the end, it is the couple’s decisions that matter and neither family nor friends should be influencing the direction of your relationship.
6.Always kissing up – Outside of the basic level of respect that you give all women, everything else must be earned. Do not place your SO on such a high pedestal that she does not remember the ground. This goes back to knowing your worth.
7.Complacency - Being tenacious and goal-oriented is all a woman wants in her man. You do not have to have the world (but she would love it if you did) yet. Show some progress and things will be fine.
8.Choosing a woman based on appearance alone – Yeah, she’s fine but does she make sense when she talks…are you compatible…what are her goals and ambitions? Guys can get caught up in the imagery that comes along with a woman and forget to look for the important things.
9.Placing someone (anyone) or something before your mate - This includes friends, relatives (See Mistake #5), co-workers, animals, your car, or your hobbies. If a woman feels like something or someone is more important to you than she is then she won’t hear anything you are trying to say.
10.Yielding to temptation from other women - For some reason, there are women who go after men that are already attached. Recognize those women and steer clear of them if you can. This might be number 10 but it is the easiest way to end up a victim of a Waiting to Exhale moment.
2.04.2009
1.28.2009
Yes, No or Maybe!
In the 5Th grade, the note I passed to Rebekkah Taylor was intercepted because nosey-ass LaShonda McIntyre wanted to know what it said. Yeah, that’s right. I’m naming names! If the term was around back then, she would be what now known as a hater. This was the moment I feared, the main reason that I had been walking around with this note in my Trapper Keeper for the past two days. The worst thing a boy at McGlone Elementary could do was make a fool of himself in homeroom. Before lunch, the word would have spread throughout the school and either your reputation would be ruined or made. I had seen it happen on more than one occasion. A note is intercepted, the information is spread throughout the school and by lunchtime, there is a whole bunch of pointing and laughing. Especially if was what in my note was seen by the eyes of LaShonda. Never did like that girl.
My note was for Kim Pearson, a very precious ten year-old with high-top jellies, glasses and bangs. I wanted to know if she would be my girl. It had become obvious to me that Kim was feeling me every since Mrs. Henderson placed us in the same math group a couple of weeks prior. A few times, I caught her smiling at me from across the lunch room and she even punched me in the shoulder when I cracked a joke on her fake members only jacket. I was using the preferred method of the time, three boxes; one for yes, one for no, and one for maybe. I never really liked that maybe box. It left too much room for later embarrassment. The type of embarrassment that was awaiting me after my note fell into the hands of the demon seed.
Once she got her hands on my letter, she felt like it was her duty to share it with all of her girlfriends with whom she shared a table at lunch. I could see them pointing and giggling in the direction of my table in the lunchroom. Already a shy guy, this type of attention was the worst thing that could have happened to me. Soon, everybody was teasing me about my like for Kim. There was little doubt that word had even gotten back to her about my crush.
So I was expecting the worst when she approached me the next morning a couple of minutes before the first bell rung. I was standing in line outside the door of my homeroom class with my boys, Shane, Anthony, and Terry. I didn’t see her coming but Anthony tapped me and said, “Krush, check it out!” When I turned in that direction and saw the girl of my dreams coming toward me, I was tempted to run. I didn’t know if she was going to punch me in the face or, even worse, laugh in my face for thinking that she would feel the same way about me. She didn’t do either. She said, “Hey Krush!” and passed me her own note. I waited until I got to my desk to open it. The embarrassment from the day before was enough for one week. She had recreated my original note and checked the maybe box. At least she didn’t say no.
It seems as if most of today’s relationships are in that maybe box. I guess a little embarrassment is not anything compared to a broken heart. Somewhere along the line, putting a title on what you and your “friend” are doing is too much for some. I am not talking about two people who are in the early stages and still feeling each other out. I am talking about those people who are fully into the “relationship” and have developed serious feelings for one another. It is not just the guys who are feeling this way but it seems like a growing number of women that I meet are reluctant to make it “official” with their boo. Do not misunderstand what I am talking about, these folks are still doing all of the things that you do when you are in a relationship. They just aren’t calling it that. Most of the people that I have talked to that refuse to label their relationships will privately admit that they are madly in love. However, some of them will not even verbally admit that to their significant other. Somebody please explain this to me.
I guess there is some mysterious change in the relationship once you start calling it a relationship. It is similar to when you go from shacking up to being husband and wife. Although, I never really understood that one either.
Are you reluctant to put a title on your relationships? Why?
What changes in the relationship once it becomes official?
My note was for Kim Pearson, a very precious ten year-old with high-top jellies, glasses and bangs. I wanted to know if she would be my girl. It had become obvious to me that Kim was feeling me every since Mrs. Henderson placed us in the same math group a couple of weeks prior. A few times, I caught her smiling at me from across the lunch room and she even punched me in the shoulder when I cracked a joke on her fake members only jacket. I was using the preferred method of the time, three boxes; one for yes, one for no, and one for maybe. I never really liked that maybe box. It left too much room for later embarrassment. The type of embarrassment that was awaiting me after my note fell into the hands of the demon seed.
Once she got her hands on my letter, she felt like it was her duty to share it with all of her girlfriends with whom she shared a table at lunch. I could see them pointing and giggling in the direction of my table in the lunchroom. Already a shy guy, this type of attention was the worst thing that could have happened to me. Soon, everybody was teasing me about my like for Kim. There was little doubt that word had even gotten back to her about my crush.
So I was expecting the worst when she approached me the next morning a couple of minutes before the first bell rung. I was standing in line outside the door of my homeroom class with my boys, Shane, Anthony, and Terry. I didn’t see her coming but Anthony tapped me and said, “Krush, check it out!” When I turned in that direction and saw the girl of my dreams coming toward me, I was tempted to run. I didn’t know if she was going to punch me in the face or, even worse, laugh in my face for thinking that she would feel the same way about me. She didn’t do either. She said, “Hey Krush!” and passed me her own note. I waited until I got to my desk to open it. The embarrassment from the day before was enough for one week. She had recreated my original note and checked the maybe box. At least she didn’t say no.
It seems as if most of today’s relationships are in that maybe box. I guess a little embarrassment is not anything compared to a broken heart. Somewhere along the line, putting a title on what you and your “friend” are doing is too much for some. I am not talking about two people who are in the early stages and still feeling each other out. I am talking about those people who are fully into the “relationship” and have developed serious feelings for one another. It is not just the guys who are feeling this way but it seems like a growing number of women that I meet are reluctant to make it “official” with their boo. Do not misunderstand what I am talking about, these folks are still doing all of the things that you do when you are in a relationship. They just aren’t calling it that. Most of the people that I have talked to that refuse to label their relationships will privately admit that they are madly in love. However, some of them will not even verbally admit that to their significant other. Somebody please explain this to me.
I guess there is some mysterious change in the relationship once you start calling it a relationship. It is similar to when you go from shacking up to being husband and wife. Although, I never really understood that one either.
Are you reluctant to put a title on your relationships? Why?
What changes in the relationship once it becomes official?
10.27.2008
Love or Lust
CL and I have been together for damn near eight months. Wow! Time flies when you are having fun. Sometimes it feels as if we’ve been together for years. I mean that in a good way. On our good days, we have such a great chemistry and comfort level that everything we do seems so natural. Other days, we feel like strangers who are just going through the motions. In the end, that’s my best friend though. She’s got my back and I’ve got hers.
My mom is always talking about how quickly I fall in love. Every since I was in high school, I have always been a relationship type of guy. I never really enjoyed being single and trying to meet women. The whole dating thing grows old on me real fast. Some might even describe me as a Sucker for Love. Mr. Sensitive. One of my former co-workers would say I had a bad case of the Ralph Tresvants. Either way, I’m just being me. Can’t really help it.
Does love have a time frame? How do you tell the difference between love and lust?
It’s real easy to get caught up in the beginning stages of your relationship and think that you are in love. Anybody who has ever been in that situation where you are getting some good love on the regular, sharing new experiences, and someone is really feeling your story, can testify that at some point you have to take a step back and evaluate. Am I really in love or is it just the new booty? Are we compatible or am I overlooking something?
In my last relationship, the paint didn’t start to chip until we reached the seven month mark. That’s when my belief that we would one day get married and grow old together hit a serious brick wall. I realized that I didn’t even like this woman. I was blinded by the anticipation of the next freaky thing we would do. Didn’t even see it coming. So this time, I swore to myself that I would take my time and go slow. Didn’t happen that way. I was caught up fast just like before.
It feels different this time though. I am communicating more. We talk about our feelings all the time. She knows where I stand and I know how she feels. Even though I lust for her body 24/7, I wouldn’t be satisfied with just that. I want her mind, body, love, faith, and devotion.
What about you?...
Have you ever mistaken lust for love? What happened when you realized your mistake?
How can you tell the difference?
Have you changed your approach to dating because of it?
My mom is always talking about how quickly I fall in love. Every since I was in high school, I have always been a relationship type of guy. I never really enjoyed being single and trying to meet women. The whole dating thing grows old on me real fast. Some might even describe me as a Sucker for Love. Mr. Sensitive. One of my former co-workers would say I had a bad case of the Ralph Tresvants. Either way, I’m just being me. Can’t really help it.
Does love have a time frame? How do you tell the difference between love and lust?
It’s real easy to get caught up in the beginning stages of your relationship and think that you are in love. Anybody who has ever been in that situation where you are getting some good love on the regular, sharing new experiences, and someone is really feeling your story, can testify that at some point you have to take a step back and evaluate. Am I really in love or is it just the new booty? Are we compatible or am I overlooking something?
In my last relationship, the paint didn’t start to chip until we reached the seven month mark. That’s when my belief that we would one day get married and grow old together hit a serious brick wall. I realized that I didn’t even like this woman. I was blinded by the anticipation of the next freaky thing we would do. Didn’t even see it coming. So this time, I swore to myself that I would take my time and go slow. Didn’t happen that way. I was caught up fast just like before.
It feels different this time though. I am communicating more. We talk about our feelings all the time. She knows where I stand and I know how she feels. Even though I lust for her body 24/7, I wouldn’t be satisfied with just that. I want her mind, body, love, faith, and devotion.
What about you?...
Have you ever mistaken lust for love? What happened when you realized your mistake?
How can you tell the difference?
Have you changed your approach to dating because of it?
4.28.2008
Ready Made
Lately, my weekends have been very different from what I thought they would be at the beginning of this year. Remember my NYE post about setting a goal to get out and be more social. Well, I am achieving that goal but in a totally different way than I expected. You see, my new girlfriend has a daughter who plays basketball. The last few weekends she has had tournaments that have taken up the bulk of the weekend. I’m not complaining because it’s been perfect for me. Anybody who knows me will tell you that I’m a basketball junkie and will watch it being played by anyone from little kids to senior citizens. Also, it gives me some good quality time to bond with my girl’s kids. Something I’ve been very nervous about from the beginning of our relationship.
It used to be a rule of mine to never deal with a woman with kids especially if the kids were less ten years old. Always felt like someone (either her or her ex) was trying to get his or her family back together and that eventually it was going to happen. As I’ve matured, I’ve come to the understanding that rules can be bent and broken if we are talking about the right woman. I’ve only dated two women with kids in my entire life. One’s child was off in college so they weren’t in the house and the other’s baby was a full-blown teenager who always had an attitude. Neither situation worked out but it wasn’t because of the kids. I’m at a point now where I don’t mind a woman having kids. Matter of fact, I kind of like that scenario better. Keeps my mother from asking me when I’m going to give her some grand babies.
A friend of mine who has kids told me recently that she would disqualify potential guys if they didn’t already have children. She said, “Either they are going to want kids, which I am not able to do, or they are not going to be able to deal with my kids coming first in my life!” I could definitely understand her feeling that way but I had to remind her that there are guys out here who will accept the whole package. I may be naive or just too optimistic about that but I truly feel that way. Maybe my current situation has me thinking all family-oriented.
Questions of the day:
What are your rules about dating women/men with kids?
If you have kids, have you run into people who were turned off by that?
Do you worry about potential mates not accepting you and your kid(s)?
It used to be a rule of mine to never deal with a woman with kids especially if the kids were less ten years old. Always felt like someone (either her or her ex) was trying to get his or her family back together and that eventually it was going to happen. As I’ve matured, I’ve come to the understanding that rules can be bent and broken if we are talking about the right woman. I’ve only dated two women with kids in my entire life. One’s child was off in college so they weren’t in the house and the other’s baby was a full-blown teenager who always had an attitude. Neither situation worked out but it wasn’t because of the kids. I’m at a point now where I don’t mind a woman having kids. Matter of fact, I kind of like that scenario better. Keeps my mother from asking me when I’m going to give her some grand babies.
A friend of mine who has kids told me recently that she would disqualify potential guys if they didn’t already have children. She said, “Either they are going to want kids, which I am not able to do, or they are not going to be able to deal with my kids coming first in my life!” I could definitely understand her feeling that way but I had to remind her that there are guys out here who will accept the whole package. I may be naive or just too optimistic about that but I truly feel that way. Maybe my current situation has me thinking all family-oriented.
Questions of the day:
What are your rules about dating women/men with kids?
If you have kids, have you run into people who were turned off by that?
Do you worry about potential mates not accepting you and your kid(s)?
4.17.2008
Looking At My Gucci, It's About That Time...
I believe that timing is very important when it comes to relationships. She cannot be ready for something serious while he only wants a friend with benefits thing. He cannot be ready for marriage while she is content to live together. In addition, each person has to be beyond all the emotional baggage from their previous relationships and prepared to accept the love that the other is giving. As we all know, it is not impossible to have but there is always an element of luck, fate, kismet, or destiny involved. Finding that one person who is on your same page is a mother of a task. Many people go their entire lives without making that soulful connection. Some people are fortunate enough to have multiple loves at different stages of their lives.
Question of the day?
Which is worse? Falling for the wrong person at a time when you are ready for love or meeting the right person at a time when you know that you are not prepared to love?
Question of the day?
Which is worse? Falling for the wrong person at a time when you are ready for love or meeting the right person at a time when you know that you are not prepared to love?
4.08.2008
Are You Qualified?
I heard a woman say recently that men do not know what they want when it comes to women. A dude will proclaim all day that he wants a model-thin chick with long hair and green eyes. Next thing you know, he is all up under a thick dark skin sister with a natural. The dude claiming to want an independent woman always seems to find a clingy low self-esteem chick to call his boo. I was going to protest her generalization until I thought about my list. A while back, I posted a short list of the basic requirements that I look for in a potential mate. Even after creating the list, I knew that it was not something that could be carved into stone. For every rule, there is an exception, right? The initial list that I posted got some very interesting responses included someone giving me the serious side-eye for being so shallow. Admittedly, it was superficial but I can be that way sometimes. Since that time, I have gone from single man to being in a happily committed relationship. My new significant other (SO) breaks most of those rules so it is time to rethink and revise what qualities I find attractive in a woman. No, I am not catering this list to match her qualities but a brother is under her sexy influence.
Worker – Relationships are work and I do not want to be the only one fighting to make this thing last. You do not have to wait until some drama occurs to find out if a woman is a worker. The tell tale sign is if she works hard to build a good foundation for your relationship (open honest communication, support, encouragement and fights fair)
Passionate – I love someone who has passion for life. Whether it is passion for work, travel, sports, partying or family, please just do not be dry. Life is full of difficulties and I do not want to go through it with someone who is just going through the motions. This can also apply to your sex life. A woman who is passionate about it will always keep it fresh and exciting.
Friendship – As important as it is to be in love, I think it may be more important that you like the person. I want someone I can share a laugh with, chill and watch movies with, and talk about my fears with.
Communicator – In the past, I was not a big talker when it came to relationships but lately I am trying to change. I realize that one of the most important building blocks for a good relationship is communication. One thing I have found frustrating is a woman who talks all the time but cannot express clearly how she feels. You know the type who talks just to hear herself talk. I need a woman who can effectively tell me what is going on with her so that we can deal with it. She also cannot forget that communication is a two-way street and she has to listen just as well as she talks.
Learner – Every day should teach you something new. A woman who craves knowledge and new experiences is very attractive to me. I have met some women who have not read a book since college, do not watch the news and have not travelled anywhere outside of their city/state. That is pathetic.
Teacher – Show me something new. Help me to grow as a person. The woman who I am interested in should not be a female version of me. She should have different interests. Like poetry, Janet Jackson, knitting, rock climbing or something that I usually do not mess with. I can warm some food but if you show me how to make your favorite dish the way you like, I will do it for you when you least expect it.
Sense of Humor – I can be silly and goofy so I need a woman who can appreciate a good laugh. She cannot be too serious and not know how to laugh at herself sometimes. Laughing is the only way to get through some of life’s hard times.
Spiritual – I grew up going to church every Sunday but I will not lie and say that I was active or engaged. As I have grown older, I have gained a new appreciation for having a healthy and active spiritual life. On judgment day, each person will have to answer for him or herself. While we are here I need someone who can help me pray. This goes back to the Learner and Teacher qualities that I want in a woman.
Faithful – I do not mean faithful as in not cheating here but that does apply. What I am talking about is a woman who believes in her man and our relationship. Yes, I know that I have to prove myself to her in order for that to happen. I am willing to do my part. As Ike told Anna Mae, “You got to have faith in me!” A woman who believes in what we are doing and is not waiting to see if something better comes along. I am not where I thought I would be in life but I still have plans for the future. If she can stand by me through the rough times, I will show her my appreciation when we win.
Sexy – All these qualities are good but if there is not a biological attraction between us, we are going to have issues. My definition of sexy has nothing to do with how short you wear a skirt or if you cleavage is dangling. It is all about attitude and self-confidence. Nothing turns me on more than a woman who knows what she has and how to work it.
This a good list but by no means complete. Let me know what y'all are looking for. Also, was my homegirl right? Do men not know what they want when it comes to relationships?
Worker – Relationships are work and I do not want to be the only one fighting to make this thing last. You do not have to wait until some drama occurs to find out if a woman is a worker. The tell tale sign is if she works hard to build a good foundation for your relationship (open honest communication, support, encouragement and fights fair)
Passionate – I love someone who has passion for life. Whether it is passion for work, travel, sports, partying or family, please just do not be dry. Life is full of difficulties and I do not want to go through it with someone who is just going through the motions. This can also apply to your sex life. A woman who is passionate about it will always keep it fresh and exciting.
Friendship – As important as it is to be in love, I think it may be more important that you like the person. I want someone I can share a laugh with, chill and watch movies with, and talk about my fears with.
Communicator – In the past, I was not a big talker when it came to relationships but lately I am trying to change. I realize that one of the most important building blocks for a good relationship is communication. One thing I have found frustrating is a woman who talks all the time but cannot express clearly how she feels. You know the type who talks just to hear herself talk. I need a woman who can effectively tell me what is going on with her so that we can deal with it. She also cannot forget that communication is a two-way street and she has to listen just as well as she talks.
Learner – Every day should teach you something new. A woman who craves knowledge and new experiences is very attractive to me. I have met some women who have not read a book since college, do not watch the news and have not travelled anywhere outside of their city/state. That is pathetic.
Teacher – Show me something new. Help me to grow as a person. The woman who I am interested in should not be a female version of me. She should have different interests. Like poetry, Janet Jackson, knitting, rock climbing or something that I usually do not mess with. I can warm some food but if you show me how to make your favorite dish the way you like, I will do it for you when you least expect it.
Sense of Humor – I can be silly and goofy so I need a woman who can appreciate a good laugh. She cannot be too serious and not know how to laugh at herself sometimes. Laughing is the only way to get through some of life’s hard times.
Spiritual – I grew up going to church every Sunday but I will not lie and say that I was active or engaged. As I have grown older, I have gained a new appreciation for having a healthy and active spiritual life. On judgment day, each person will have to answer for him or herself. While we are here I need someone who can help me pray. This goes back to the Learner and Teacher qualities that I want in a woman.
Faithful – I do not mean faithful as in not cheating here but that does apply. What I am talking about is a woman who believes in her man and our relationship. Yes, I know that I have to prove myself to her in order for that to happen. I am willing to do my part. As Ike told Anna Mae, “You got to have faith in me!” A woman who believes in what we are doing and is not waiting to see if something better comes along. I am not where I thought I would be in life but I still have plans for the future. If she can stand by me through the rough times, I will show her my appreciation when we win.
Sexy – All these qualities are good but if there is not a biological attraction between us, we are going to have issues. My definition of sexy has nothing to do with how short you wear a skirt or if you cleavage is dangling. It is all about attitude and self-confidence. Nothing turns me on more than a woman who knows what she has and how to work it.
This a good list but by no means complete. Let me know what y'all are looking for. Also, was my homegirl right? Do men not know what they want when it comes to relationships?
4.03.2008
The Benchmarks
When you first start dating someone it takes time before you feel comfortable enough to show them your whole self. You have to make sure that they are worthy of seeing you, issues and all, in a way that makes you feel so vulnerable. There are no guidelines for when you should reveal things about yourself to a potential new mate; each person makes that decision for himself or herself. On the first date, you let them know about your crazy ex who might be stalking you. On date number five, you tell them that you did a short stint in jail for unpaid child support. Two months go by before you let them know that your credit is horrible and it will be ten years before you can buy anything without paying out the ass. After about a year, it’s alright to let them know that you are really separated and that ex that was stalking you is really your wife. No problem! Just let me know when you think it’s appropriate.
With that in mind, I was wondering what the benchmarks are for different sexual acts. How do you know if it’s alright to pull out your freakiest stuff on the first sexual encounter or if you should wait until the time is right? How do you decide that it’s the right time to show them your porn collection? Ladies, do you go down on a dude the first time you sleep with him? At what point do you decide to swallow? Guys, do you have to pull out all your tricks on the first night? If you wait, she might not ever put on that Girl Scout costume that is in the back of your closet. Like dating in general, I guess this is a personal decision.
When do you?
kiss on the mouth
tongue kiss
woman giving head
man going down on woman
woman swallowing man
69 position
introducing another female or male in the bedroom
sex in public
sex on a plane
whips and chains
going to strip clubs
dressing up...role playing
anal sex
introducing toys
introducing porn
I’m just asking because I know the rest of y’all are freaky like me. You don’t have to admit to anything that you don’t want to but you can email me if you really need to confess.
With that in mind, I was wondering what the benchmarks are for different sexual acts. How do you know if it’s alright to pull out your freakiest stuff on the first sexual encounter or if you should wait until the time is right? How do you decide that it’s the right time to show them your porn collection? Ladies, do you go down on a dude the first time you sleep with him? At what point do you decide to swallow? Guys, do you have to pull out all your tricks on the first night? If you wait, she might not ever put on that Girl Scout costume that is in the back of your closet. Like dating in general, I guess this is a personal decision.
When do you?
kiss on the mouth
tongue kiss
woman giving head
man going down on woman
woman swallowing man
69 position
introducing another female or male in the bedroom
sex in public
sex on a plane
whips and chains
going to strip clubs
dressing up...role playing
anal sex
introducing toys
introducing porn
I’m just asking because I know the rest of y’all are freaky like me. You don’t have to admit to anything that you don’t want to but you can email me if you really need to confess.
3.31.2008
Open Your Heart?
When we met, she said that she wanted a guy who could express himself. A brother who was not afraid to discuss his emotions with his woman. This was not the first time I had heard a sister express this desire for me to open up but it was the first time that I was seriously considering it. The women who had made this request in the past had not been the type of women who inspire a man to be his better self. They were the type of women that a man only gave the amount of effort necessary to keep the relationship going until it reached its expiration date. But she is different. She is the kind of woman that a man will get his shit together for and make sure it stays together so he can keep her around. So here I am, reaching deep inside and putting all my sensitive stuff on the table.
Despite what I said before, this is not the first time expressing my feelings to a woman. I just had not done it verbally. Like most men, I express my feelings for a woman by actions and not words. Any of my female friends who come to me for advice about dating will tell you that at some point I said to them, “Fuck what he said. What did he do?” The deeds of a man truly tell how he feels about a woman. That is how we express our love and devotion to our wives and our interest in potential girlfriends. However, every man reading this post can tell you about a conversation he’s had with a woman where she has told him that despite all he does for her she would love to hear how he feels every once and a while. My experience tells me that women ask for it but I am not sure if they really want to hear it.
As Jack Nicholson said in that movie, “You can’t handle the truth!” I had a sister tell me, after I had just opened up and expressed my interest in building a serious relationship with her, that she could not trust what I was saying; could not take me at face value because she did not know if I was just saying what I thought she wanted to hear. How do you overcome that type of mistrust? I understand that experience can make you suspicious of anything that seems too good to be true. However, it is what you asked for, right? It seems as if some women are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. They are so used to guys kicking game at them that a sincere gesture does not stand a chance. Of course, I know that I am making a generalization that does not apply to all women. Just speaking from my experience and from stories, I have heard.
Ladies:
Are you ready for the type of love you say you want?
Why is it so difficult to accept a man who is expressing his true emotions to you?
Men:
Have you ever opened your heart to a woman and she did not accept it?
Does it make you reluctant to express yourself more freely in a relationship?
Despite what I said before, this is not the first time expressing my feelings to a woman. I just had not done it verbally. Like most men, I express my feelings for a woman by actions and not words. Any of my female friends who come to me for advice about dating will tell you that at some point I said to them, “Fuck what he said. What did he do?” The deeds of a man truly tell how he feels about a woman. That is how we express our love and devotion to our wives and our interest in potential girlfriends. However, every man reading this post can tell you about a conversation he’s had with a woman where she has told him that despite all he does for her she would love to hear how he feels every once and a while. My experience tells me that women ask for it but I am not sure if they really want to hear it.
As Jack Nicholson said in that movie, “You can’t handle the truth!” I had a sister tell me, after I had just opened up and expressed my interest in building a serious relationship with her, that she could not trust what I was saying; could not take me at face value because she did not know if I was just saying what I thought she wanted to hear. How do you overcome that type of mistrust? I understand that experience can make you suspicious of anything that seems too good to be true. However, it is what you asked for, right? It seems as if some women are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. They are so used to guys kicking game at them that a sincere gesture does not stand a chance. Of course, I know that I am making a generalization that does not apply to all women. Just speaking from my experience and from stories, I have heard.
Ladies:
Are you ready for the type of love you say you want?
Why is it so difficult to accept a man who is expressing his true emotions to you?
Men:
Have you ever opened your heart to a woman and she did not accept it?
Does it make you reluctant to express yourself more freely in a relationship?
3.24.2008
What's The Difference
Single:
Sit around in my drawers on Saturday and watch March Madness from start to finish
Coupled Up:
Catch about one half of one game and see the highlights of the rest on SportsCenter
Single:
Early morning wood being relieved in the shower
Coupled Up:
Early morning lovin’ followed by hot breakfast
Single:
Random chicks that you could care less about
Coupled Up:
Your baby girl who you want to take care of
Single:
Buying marked down chocolate after Easter
Coupled Up:
Getting enough chocolate to eat and to play with as an Easter present
Single:
Checking out women on a warm Saturday afternoon
Coupled Up:
Having your woman point them out because she thinks they are sexy too
Single:
The frustration of running into the wrong woman over and over again
Coupled Up:
The satisfaction of having found the right one and not having to look anymore
Sit around in my drawers on Saturday and watch March Madness from start to finish
Coupled Up:
Catch about one half of one game and see the highlights of the rest on SportsCenter
Single:
Early morning wood being relieved in the shower
Coupled Up:
Early morning lovin’ followed by hot breakfast
Single:
Random chicks that you could care less about
Coupled Up:
Your baby girl who you want to take care of
Single:
Buying marked down chocolate after Easter
Coupled Up:
Getting enough chocolate to eat and to play with as an Easter present
Single:
Checking out women on a warm Saturday afternoon
Coupled Up:
Having your woman point them out because she thinks they are sexy too
Single:
The frustration of running into the wrong woman over and over again
Coupled Up:
The satisfaction of having found the right one and not having to look anymore
3.15.2008
What do you prefer when you get into a relationship?
1- Would you rather have a fun fling or a lasting relationship?
a lasting relationship but i'll settle for a fun fling in the meantime
2- What was your longest relationship?
11 years
3-What is your favorite personality trait?
sense of humor
4- What is the most romantic thing a significant other could do?
fill my tank up with gas when she borrows my car
5- When you are dating someone, what is the most important thing to you?
a good line of communication...i don't like to guess and i hate surprises
6- Do you like pet names (ex: baby, sweetheart...)?
yeah, i think its cool
7- What is your ideal night out with a significant other?
good food, good drinks, lots of laughs, plenty of flirting, and breakfast in the morning
8- What is your ideal night in with a significant other?
see previous answer
9- Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn't feel it?
i've done it in the past but i won't make that mistake again
10- Do you like relationships that invovle serious commitments?
even though i like to joke and have fun...giving my heart is a serious matter
11- If you ever got engaged, how would you want it to happen?
not sure but it would be just the two of us...not in front of a bunch of people
12- If you were engaged, would you want a wedding as soon as possible?
i think the wedding should happen within 18 months of the engagement
13- Do you like to talk about the future when in a serious relationship?
i like to know their is a destination and i'm not just wasting time..so yes
14- Do you prefer a sensitive open relationship or a strong silent type?
i need it to be open but i also can appreciate some silence at certain times
15- When in a relationship do you have to have contact with your partner on a daily basis?
no, i need my space and i hope that she does too
16- Do you like public displays of affection?
yes, what's the point of being with somebody if you are going to act like cousins in public
17- Is there anything you won't tolerate while in a relationship?
lies, cheating and mistrust
18- What is one thing that you value most in a relationship?
the security of knowing somebody's got your back
19- Would you ever be able to handle a long-distance situation?
i could do it on a temporary basis...i need some physical attention if i'm in a relationship though
20- Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage?
i did it and it didn't work out...so yes i believe it is a good idea..saved me
a lasting relationship but i'll settle for a fun fling in the meantime
2- What was your longest relationship?
11 years
3-What is your favorite personality trait?
sense of humor
4- What is the most romantic thing a significant other could do?
fill my tank up with gas when she borrows my car
5- When you are dating someone, what is the most important thing to you?
a good line of communication...i don't like to guess and i hate surprises
6- Do you like pet names (ex: baby, sweetheart...)?
yeah, i think its cool
7- What is your ideal night out with a significant other?
good food, good drinks, lots of laughs, plenty of flirting, and breakfast in the morning
8- What is your ideal night in with a significant other?
see previous answer
9- Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn't feel it?
i've done it in the past but i won't make that mistake again
10- Do you like relationships that invovle serious commitments?
even though i like to joke and have fun...giving my heart is a serious matter
11- If you ever got engaged, how would you want it to happen?
not sure but it would be just the two of us...not in front of a bunch of people
12- If you were engaged, would you want a wedding as soon as possible?
i think the wedding should happen within 18 months of the engagement
13- Do you like to talk about the future when in a serious relationship?
i like to know their is a destination and i'm not just wasting time..so yes
14- Do you prefer a sensitive open relationship or a strong silent type?
i need it to be open but i also can appreciate some silence at certain times
15- When in a relationship do you have to have contact with your partner on a daily basis?
no, i need my space and i hope that she does too
16- Do you like public displays of affection?
yes, what's the point of being with somebody if you are going to act like cousins in public
17- Is there anything you won't tolerate while in a relationship?
lies, cheating and mistrust
18- What is one thing that you value most in a relationship?
the security of knowing somebody's got your back
19- Would you ever be able to handle a long-distance situation?
i could do it on a temporary basis...i need some physical attention if i'm in a relationship though
20- Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage?
i did it and it didn't work out...so yes i believe it is a good idea..saved me
2.21.2008
Baby, What Page Are We On?
This weekend I read a book about a man who after going through a traumatic experience decides that he is going to pursue the one woman that he truly loves. He allowed this particular woman to escape his life during the player days of his youth. So after having the life-altering episode, he quits his successful job and moves to the city where this woman lives with her husband and two kids. He then attempts to win the affections of the woman who he sees as his one true love. Chasing down married women is on the extreme side for me but I can relate to his desire to reconnect with the person who represents the potential for great love, something to give him purpose. I think we all have at least one person in our past that could have our hearts if you could get a second chance under different circumstances. Somebody that you just can’t get out of your system even after you’ve had your chance and it didn’t work. Deep down, you still think it is meant to be. How do you know when it’s time to turn the page? If you don’t let them go will you ever be truly happy and find real love again?
I hear women say that guys seem to move on to the next woman (or women) like he wasn’t even bothered with the breakup. Y’all just aren’t paying attention. It takes a great deal for a brother to deal with that type of thing. The easiest way to deal is to just move on to the next chick and let her love heal your wounds but the truth is if you aren’t really going to let her in, the wounds will remain. Unfortunately, most of us aren’t equipped to talk about our emotions so we numb the pain with sex, alcohol, work or anything else that will get our minds off the way we feel. In the relationships following my divorce, I was prone to compare women to my ex. She doesn’t make me laugh like J; her kisses aren’t as sweet as J’s or her hugs don’t comfort me as much as J’s did. Obviously, I wasn’t giving these women a fair chance nor was I really allowing for the possibility of making a real connection. What I was doing was numbing the pain I felt from being a failure. Failure is a harsh word but it is how a guy feels when he goes from being the man of her dreams to that motherfucker who ain’t shit.
Someone once said that you can’t receive new blessings if you are holding on to your old baggage. That means the first step is letting go. Easier said than done, right? Everybody I know is walking around with some residue from previous relationships. I know that I have a combination of anger, embarrassment, disappointment, and resentment that contributes to my status as a single man. I’m not as bad as I was when the pain was fresh but I wouldn’t say I was completely healed yet either. Time doesn’t heal all wounds. So clearly I am not and expert on the subject of moving on. Despite that, my ear is often bent by my friends and co-workers regarding their relationship issues. I actually think that I give good advice. It’s easier to recognize a pattern in someone else’s behavior than your own.
I hear women say that guys seem to move on to the next woman (or women) like he wasn’t even bothered with the breakup. Y’all just aren’t paying attention. It takes a great deal for a brother to deal with that type of thing. The easiest way to deal is to just move on to the next chick and let her love heal your wounds but the truth is if you aren’t really going to let her in, the wounds will remain. Unfortunately, most of us aren’t equipped to talk about our emotions so we numb the pain with sex, alcohol, work or anything else that will get our minds off the way we feel. In the relationships following my divorce, I was prone to compare women to my ex. She doesn’t make me laugh like J; her kisses aren’t as sweet as J’s or her hugs don’t comfort me as much as J’s did. Obviously, I wasn’t giving these women a fair chance nor was I really allowing for the possibility of making a real connection. What I was doing was numbing the pain I felt from being a failure. Failure is a harsh word but it is how a guy feels when he goes from being the man of her dreams to that motherfucker who ain’t shit.
Someone once said that you can’t receive new blessings if you are holding on to your old baggage. That means the first step is letting go. Easier said than done, right? Everybody I know is walking around with some residue from previous relationships. I know that I have a combination of anger, embarrassment, disappointment, and resentment that contributes to my status as a single man. I’m not as bad as I was when the pain was fresh but I wouldn’t say I was completely healed yet either. Time doesn’t heal all wounds. So clearly I am not and expert on the subject of moving on. Despite that, my ear is often bent by my friends and co-workers regarding their relationship issues. I actually think that I give good advice. It’s easier to recognize a pattern in someone else’s behavior than your own.
2.11.2008
Loving Jezebel
If you've been reading this blog for any time, you already know that I have notoriously bad luck with women. The ones I like don't like me and I seemed to always attract the wrong woman. I was hoping that 2008 would begin a new chapter in my social life that could possibly lead to me finding the love of my life (Nia Long are you reading this?). Almost a month and half into the year, I beginning to get skeptical about the possibility of anything good happening. My latest misadventure revolves around a female friend whom I've known for several years. Matter of fact, we used to work together which is one of the many reasons why I have never pursued a romantic relationship. However, we have spent plenty of time outside of work talking about each others dating lives and our frustrations with trying to find a suitable mate. Physically, she isn't what I would gravitate towards but she is far from unattractive. She gets a little carried away with the weaves for my taste but I am sure that works for some brothers. From the stories, she tells me, it’s not problem for her to get next to a brother if she is interested. Unfortunately, in the last several weeks it has become clear that she has set her sights on me. You may be asking why that is a problem, Krush. It's a problem because she is hoe!
Hold up! I know that sounds rough. I’m not in the habit of calling a woman a garden tool but that is how she described herself. She is a self-proclaimed hoe. No, she didn't use it as a term of endearment like some sisters do. She used it to describe her predilection for random dick. In our many conversations, she given me some exquisite detail about her exploits on the hoe trail. Talked about dating married men and guys that she knew had girlfriends. To her I was like a confessional priest. Telling me about her actions and how it made her feel was like cleansing her of all her quilt. I was never judgmental about her deeds just a good listener. Maybe that explains her sudden desire to make our platonic friendship into something more, a clear violation of the Making a Hoe into a Housewife Rule.
Lately, she has been calling and texting me on a daily basis. Trying to come by my spot late nights and asking me to escort her to various functions. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem either but this is the type who doesn’t know how to be close to a man without getting physical. I made the mistake of having her over a couple Saturdays back. We were just going to watch some television and chill. This is what we did! When it was getting late and time for everybody to find their way to their own bed, she assumed that she was going to spend the night. Being friends, I didn’t really have a problem with that but where was she going to sleep. I have a rule about folks sleeping on my couch. Nothing worse than having company sit down and start sniffing trying to figure out where that Fritos smell is coming from. That means that she would have to come to bed with me. Let’s just say that I woke up on Sunday morning with this chick wrapped around me like a boa constrictor. From that point on, I’ve been giving her the Heisman. To her credit, she has tried to change her life in the last few months and become a respectable young lady. She says that she wants to get married and be a wife. Even though I’ll miss the stories of debauchery, I am happy that she is changing her ways.
Hold up! I know that sounds rough. I’m not in the habit of calling a woman a garden tool but that is how she described herself. She is a self-proclaimed hoe. No, she didn't use it as a term of endearment like some sisters do. She used it to describe her predilection for random dick. In our many conversations, she given me some exquisite detail about her exploits on the hoe trail. Talked about dating married men and guys that she knew had girlfriends. To her I was like a confessional priest. Telling me about her actions and how it made her feel was like cleansing her of all her quilt. I was never judgmental about her deeds just a good listener. Maybe that explains her sudden desire to make our platonic friendship into something more, a clear violation of the Making a Hoe into a Housewife Rule.
Lately, she has been calling and texting me on a daily basis. Trying to come by my spot late nights and asking me to escort her to various functions. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem either but this is the type who doesn’t know how to be close to a man without getting physical. I made the mistake of having her over a couple Saturdays back. We were just going to watch some television and chill. This is what we did! When it was getting late and time for everybody to find their way to their own bed, she assumed that she was going to spend the night. Being friends, I didn’t really have a problem with that but where was she going to sleep. I have a rule about folks sleeping on my couch. Nothing worse than having company sit down and start sniffing trying to figure out where that Fritos smell is coming from. That means that she would have to come to bed with me. Let’s just say that I woke up on Sunday morning with this chick wrapped around me like a boa constrictor. From that point on, I’ve been giving her the Heisman. To her credit, she has tried to change her life in the last few months and become a respectable young lady. She says that she wants to get married and be a wife. Even though I’ll miss the stories of debauchery, I am happy that she is changing her ways.
1.29.2008
Bad Date Karma Pt. II
I think it was guilt that made me do it. I mean it was a forgivable mistake but I still didn’t want her walking around thinking that I was the type of guy to leave a woman waiting at a bar alone. Whatever it was, I agreed to meet her for dinner on Saturday at one of my favorite spots in the city. Something about her behavior the night before and the odd text message was trying to tell me that I should just walk away from this chick but did I listen. Hell no! You see, I’ve always been a magnet for women who are a few fries short of a happy meal. I’ve had a fatal attraction chick who tried to stab me in the park and another sister who claimed that she could levitate on demand. So the little display of psycho behavior from this woman wasn’t a real deterrent for me.
Strike One:
My usual rule about first dates is to make it happen during the day if possible. One reason is that I’d be mad as hell if my entire evening was ruined by a horrible date. The other reason is that I want to get a good look at the person. In keeping with that theme, we were supposed to meet for dinner at 5:00 PM. I’ve checked my breath, smoothed down my bushy eyebrows and am getting ready to exit my truck at 4:55 PM when my cell phone rings. It’s her telling me that she is lost but thinks she will be there in about ten minutes. If you are lost, how can you estimate a time of arrival? At this point, I’m starting to think that maybe she is getting me back and really doesn’t have any plans of showing up for the date. If that is the case, I figure that I can at least go inside and get a drink from the bar. Thirty minutes and two Crown and cokes later, I get another call saying that she is parking and will be inside shortly.
Strike Two:
I think of myself as an open-minded person who can appreciate people of all shapes and sizes for their own beauty. However, people who really know me would tell you that I can be extremely judgmental and quick to cut somebody off. That is probably why I knew this date was going to be a dud when I saw her walk around the corner wearing one of Beverly Johnson’s best wigs. Now ladies, I’m not against a woman wearing a wig every now and then. Hell, it can be a nice prop in the bedroom. It’s like having sex with different women without cheating. The problem with this wig was that it was just a little bit crooked. During the entire dinner, I wanted to lean across the table and pull it down on the left side. What is the proper etiquette for something like that? I couldn’t concentrate on anything she was saying because of this distraction. Ladies, what should I have done?
Strike Three:
The one personality type that I just can’t stand is a complainer. You know the type who is always finding fault with something. This chick here was one of the worst complainers that I have ever had the misfortune of being around. The place that we were having dinner was one the most popular spots in Atlanta so on a Saturday evening it was crowded. Having lived here for several years that is something that you learn to deal with and accept. She complained about the length of our wait for seating, which table we were seated, the strength of her Tequila Sunrise, the amount of time we had to wait for our food, the level of noise in the restaurant, the line in the women’s restroom, the amount of the tip I left, and how long it took the valet to bring her car. Then had the nerve to ask me what I was doing for the rest of the evening as if she wanted to hang out some more.
YOU ARE OUT!!!
Strike One:
My usual rule about first dates is to make it happen during the day if possible. One reason is that I’d be mad as hell if my entire evening was ruined by a horrible date. The other reason is that I want to get a good look at the person. In keeping with that theme, we were supposed to meet for dinner at 5:00 PM. I’ve checked my breath, smoothed down my bushy eyebrows and am getting ready to exit my truck at 4:55 PM when my cell phone rings. It’s her telling me that she is lost but thinks she will be there in about ten minutes. If you are lost, how can you estimate a time of arrival? At this point, I’m starting to think that maybe she is getting me back and really doesn’t have any plans of showing up for the date. If that is the case, I figure that I can at least go inside and get a drink from the bar. Thirty minutes and two Crown and cokes later, I get another call saying that she is parking and will be inside shortly.
Strike Two:
I think of myself as an open-minded person who can appreciate people of all shapes and sizes for their own beauty. However, people who really know me would tell you that I can be extremely judgmental and quick to cut somebody off. That is probably why I knew this date was going to be a dud when I saw her walk around the corner wearing one of Beverly Johnson’s best wigs. Now ladies, I’m not against a woman wearing a wig every now and then. Hell, it can be a nice prop in the bedroom. It’s like having sex with different women without cheating. The problem with this wig was that it was just a little bit crooked. During the entire dinner, I wanted to lean across the table and pull it down on the left side. What is the proper etiquette for something like that? I couldn’t concentrate on anything she was saying because of this distraction. Ladies, what should I have done?
Strike Three:
The one personality type that I just can’t stand is a complainer. You know the type who is always finding fault with something. This chick here was one of the worst complainers that I have ever had the misfortune of being around. The place that we were having dinner was one the most popular spots in Atlanta so on a Saturday evening it was crowded. Having lived here for several years that is something that you learn to deal with and accept. She complained about the length of our wait for seating, which table we were seated, the strength of her Tequila Sunrise, the amount of time we had to wait for our food, the level of noise in the restaurant, the line in the women’s restroom, the amount of the tip I left, and how long it took the valet to bring her car. Then had the nerve to ask me what I was doing for the rest of the evening as if she wanted to hang out some more.
YOU ARE OUT!!!
1.28.2008
Bad Date Karma
What’s good! How was your weekend? If you are like me, you were having some serious football withdrawal symptoms. Never thought I would miss it that much until Sunday afternoon came around and I was searching for something worthwhile on television. I did catch some good college basketball though. Can’t wait for March Madness. I’m still thinking that UCLA is going to take the chip. Pac-10 all the way! Can somebody tell me what Ruby Dee did in American Gangster to merit a SAG award and an Academy nomination? Does she have scenes that weren’t on my bootleg copy of the movie? Don’t get me wrong, I love Ruby Dee but isn’t she playing the same character from Jungle Fever? I’ve been a supporter of Barack Obama since he officially announced that he was running for President. In the last few weeks, he has solidified my decision to support his candidacy. The Clintons, however, have really showed their true colors. I never really understood the love that some black people have for them anyway. Matter of fact, I got into a heated discussion about who to support with a female friend of mine. Her reasoning was that she prospered when Bill Clinton was President and thinks it will be the same under Hillary. Flawed logic, right? My lasting images of Bill Clinton’s presidency were his fronting on Lani Guinier and the fake crying at Ron Brown’s funeral.
My weekend did consist of a little bit more than channel surfing and sugar cookies though. On Friday night, I went out with a couple of co-workers to celebrate a birthday. Nothing special, just some drinks at your neighborhood Friday’s. Why do black folks love Friday’s so much? I think it has to do with the Jack Daniel’s sauce that they put on everything. Anyway, back to Friday night. While I’m chillin’ at the bar with my folks, I see a chick on the other side of the bar giving me a serious mean mug. I mean this sister is looking at me as if I pushed her in the pool at one of those pool parties that black folks have where nobody actually swims. It took me a few minutes before I realized who she was and that’s when I started to panic. Let me explain.
A few months ago, I got a random message on my Myspace page from said female. She was commenting on the song I had playing on my page and wanted to complement me on my good taste in music. We had a brief conversation that day and chatted a couple of times afterwards. Well, about a week ago she sends me a message saying that her birthday was coming up and she wondered if I would like to meet her for a drink. I’m always down for some libations so I said lets meet on Thursday after work. She agreed. Well, I had a hectic week at work and when the day we are supposed to meet comes around I completely forgot about it and went directly home at 5:00. I got a nasty message that night expressing how janky I am and that she isn’t used to being treated so shabbily. Fast forward to Friday night!
So here I am sitting directly across from this chick that I’ve accidentally stood up the night before. What do I do? She obviously recognizes me. Why else would she be giving me the side eye? So, I muster up my courage and walk around the bar to say hello and once again apologize (I sent her a genuine apology that night) for the night before.
Me: Hi, How are you doing?
Her: Hello
Me: You know who I am right?
Her: Yeah
Me: I wanted to come over and apologize again for last night. I’m so sorry but like I explained to you I was extremely tired and the only thing on my mind was getting to bed.
Her: So you really are 6’3”.
Me: Yeah
Her: If you weren’t so tall, I wouldn’t even think about forgiving you.
Me: (Laughter)
Her: I guess I’ll let you make it up to me but you better not mess up again.
Me: That’s a bet. Let me get your number so I can call you and make arrangements this time.
She proceeds to give me her number and I rejoin my party across the bar. Later that night, I get a text from her saying:
Don’t think because you are tall that you can get away with acting like that!
:0(
My weekend did consist of a little bit more than channel surfing and sugar cookies though. On Friday night, I went out with a couple of co-workers to celebrate a birthday. Nothing special, just some drinks at your neighborhood Friday’s. Why do black folks love Friday’s so much? I think it has to do with the Jack Daniel’s sauce that they put on everything. Anyway, back to Friday night. While I’m chillin’ at the bar with my folks, I see a chick on the other side of the bar giving me a serious mean mug. I mean this sister is looking at me as if I pushed her in the pool at one of those pool parties that black folks have where nobody actually swims. It took me a few minutes before I realized who she was and that’s when I started to panic. Let me explain.
A few months ago, I got a random message on my Myspace page from said female. She was commenting on the song I had playing on my page and wanted to complement me on my good taste in music. We had a brief conversation that day and chatted a couple of times afterwards. Well, about a week ago she sends me a message saying that her birthday was coming up and she wondered if I would like to meet her for a drink. I’m always down for some libations so I said lets meet on Thursday after work. She agreed. Well, I had a hectic week at work and when the day we are supposed to meet comes around I completely forgot about it and went directly home at 5:00. I got a nasty message that night expressing how janky I am and that she isn’t used to being treated so shabbily. Fast forward to Friday night!
So here I am sitting directly across from this chick that I’ve accidentally stood up the night before. What do I do? She obviously recognizes me. Why else would she be giving me the side eye? So, I muster up my courage and walk around the bar to say hello and once again apologize (I sent her a genuine apology that night) for the night before.
Me: Hi, How are you doing?
Her: Hello
Me: You know who I am right?
Her: Yeah
Me: I wanted to come over and apologize again for last night. I’m so sorry but like I explained to you I was extremely tired and the only thing on my mind was getting to bed.
Her: So you really are 6’3”.
Me: Yeah
Her: If you weren’t so tall, I wouldn’t even think about forgiving you.
Me: (Laughter)
Her: I guess I’ll let you make it up to me but you better not mess up again.
Me: That’s a bet. Let me get your number so I can call you and make arrangements this time.
She proceeds to give me her number and I rejoin my party across the bar. Later that night, I get a text from her saying:
Don’t think because you are tall that you can get away with acting like that!
:0(
1.12.2008
Update: That Funky Feeling
They say if you speak on something you can bring it into reality. Well, my post about my dysfunctional FWB relationship has definitely done that. While I appreciate the great advice that was given, my decision to walk away was solidified by a conversation that I had with my FWB at about three o'clock this morning. We had gotten together last night to do that thing that we do. As I was getting ready to leave, she says to me that she has something to tell me and she hopes that it won't change our relationship. You know a brother's mind started racing, "Is she going to tell me that she has some STD?...Nah, she wouldn't do that. This is Atlanta though. I should have asked to see some baby pictures." I put my bag down and brace myself for something awful. She proceeds to tell me that she has been dating a guy all along and that a couple of weeks ago they decided to become "exclusive". Oh, I also heard her say that she still wanted us to get together from time to time...WHAT???
A few questions came to mind immediately:
1. If you have a boyfriend, why have you been acting so jealous about who I spend my time with?
2. What makes you think that I would knowingly sleep with somebody's woman?
3. Where is this dude right now and should I make a quick sprint to my car to avoid the gunfire?
The only response I could muster to this Easter speech was, "I guess this is goodbye then because I don't want that kind of karma." She said she understood but has since sent me a couple of texts saying that we need to get together to talk. At this point, I haven't responded.
Well, I guess I'm back to some lotion, a glass of Hennessey, and Jake Steed's Hoes & Flows #24.
A few questions came to mind immediately:
1. If you have a boyfriend, why have you been acting so jealous about who I spend my time with?
2. What makes you think that I would knowingly sleep with somebody's woman?
3. Where is this dude right now and should I make a quick sprint to my car to avoid the gunfire?
The only response I could muster to this Easter speech was, "I guess this is goodbye then because I don't want that kind of karma." She said she understood but has since sent me a couple of texts saying that we need to get together to talk. At this point, I haven't responded.
Well, I guess I'm back to some lotion, a glass of Hennessey, and Jake Steed's Hoes & Flows #24.
1.02.2008
Hello 2008
How are you doing? I’m doing pretty well. I must say that I have been anticipating your getting here for several months now. You see, I’ve always done better in even number years. There is nothing scientific about my belief; it just seems to happen that way for me. My birth, high school graduation, marriage, first job, first house and numerous other joyous occasions have occurred in even years. In contrast, odd years have seen my father’s death, my divorce and 2007 brought the death of both of my grandmothers. I am sure that you are thinking that all of this must be a coincidence, right? It might be but after living through all of these events, it sure feels like a fact to me. So you can understand my excitement about your arrival, right? They say that years come into your life for a season, reason or a lifetime. Well, duh! I already know you won’t be here long. You are going to stay longer than just one season so I guess that leaves reason. What that reason is we will have to discover together.
While we hang out together, there some things that I would like to accomplish. Trust me; we are going to have fun too but the main theme of our relationship is going to be handling business. The first order of business is my health. Yeah, yeah, I know what you are going to say, “Everybody says that at first. In a few months you’ll be back to your old bad habits!” Hell, I’ve done exactly that a couple of times myself. This time is different though (I see you rollin’ your eyes!) because I’m getting old now. Play time is over; it is time to get serious about it. I’ve got to start thinking about being here for my moms, as she gets older. If I want to have kids in the near future, I need to be around to care for them. The second thing on my agenda for 2008 is buying a house. Every since my divorce, I’ve been renting and I hate it. There is a huge difference between the people who rent and those who own. I am not the renting type. By the time, you leave; I will be in a house. You are probably saying, “What happened to the fun?” Well, that is the third item that I want to let you know about. While we are together, I want to stop and smell the roses. This past year went by pretty fast for me and I can’t remember having any fun. That can’t happen again. We are going to get out and meet people, travel, call all those people who say that I never call them, and enjoy life. Since the end of my last relationship, I’ve spent way too many Friday and Saturday nights at home alone.
Speaking of those lonely nights, I refuse to spend an entire year alone. So I hope that you are bringing with you a nice young lady with whom I can spend some time. Even though I intend to get out and meet and great this year, I know, that love doesn’t come when you are searching for it. I’m just going to make myself more available than I did in 2007. She’s not going to knock on my door unless she’s a Jehovah’s Witness. Nothing wrong with a spiritual chick but I’m not planning on voting for Mitt Romney. If you’ve been reading my blog, you should already know what I’m looking for in a potential mate. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned what she should look like but if she can possibly resemble Gabrielle Union, I would appreciate that. Look out for a brother!
So 2008, I am happy to see you! We’ve got big things ahead of us. I’m firm believer in reciprocity so if you are good to me; you’ll enjoy this as much as I do. It’s a little cold outside so come on in kick up your feet and enjoy a nice glass of Crown with me.
Your friend,
Krush
While we hang out together, there some things that I would like to accomplish. Trust me; we are going to have fun too but the main theme of our relationship is going to be handling business. The first order of business is my health. Yeah, yeah, I know what you are going to say, “Everybody says that at first. In a few months you’ll be back to your old bad habits!” Hell, I’ve done exactly that a couple of times myself. This time is different though (I see you rollin’ your eyes!) because I’m getting old now. Play time is over; it is time to get serious about it. I’ve got to start thinking about being here for my moms, as she gets older. If I want to have kids in the near future, I need to be around to care for them. The second thing on my agenda for 2008 is buying a house. Every since my divorce, I’ve been renting and I hate it. There is a huge difference between the people who rent and those who own. I am not the renting type. By the time, you leave; I will be in a house. You are probably saying, “What happened to the fun?” Well, that is the third item that I want to let you know about. While we are together, I want to stop and smell the roses. This past year went by pretty fast for me and I can’t remember having any fun. That can’t happen again. We are going to get out and meet people, travel, call all those people who say that I never call them, and enjoy life. Since the end of my last relationship, I’ve spent way too many Friday and Saturday nights at home alone.
Speaking of those lonely nights, I refuse to spend an entire year alone. So I hope that you are bringing with you a nice young lady with whom I can spend some time. Even though I intend to get out and meet and great this year, I know, that love doesn’t come when you are searching for it. I’m just going to make myself more available than I did in 2007. She’s not going to knock on my door unless she’s a Jehovah’s Witness. Nothing wrong with a spiritual chick but I’m not planning on voting for Mitt Romney. If you’ve been reading my blog, you should already know what I’m looking for in a potential mate. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned what she should look like but if she can possibly resemble Gabrielle Union, I would appreciate that. Look out for a brother!
So 2008, I am happy to see you! We’ve got big things ahead of us. I’m firm believer in reciprocity so if you are good to me; you’ll enjoy this as much as I do. It’s a little cold outside so come on in kick up your feet and enjoy a nice glass of Crown with me.
Your friend,
Krush
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)