Why You Gettin' Funky On Me?

Hey fam! How have you been? I've been good. Watched some good football over the weekend and Monday night. I officially joined the gym and made my first couple of visits to workout. Who are those chicks, that come in fully made-up wearing something scandalous then stand around and flirt for two hours? I'm not mad, just can't believe that someone would spend their Saturday morning doing that mess. I've started to notice that my first entry of the week is never before Tuesday. I think it has something to do with how much I drink on the weekends. What good is a weekend if you don't push back some shots of Patron or a couple Hurricanes (or Slurricanes, as my boy E calls them!)?

If you haven't guessed already, I am a big fan of the Atlanta Hawks. I'm a loyal fan of a usually horrible team but it helps that the arena is usually full of some of the best looking women that Atlanta has to offer. About a month ago, I meet a very beautiful sister at a game. I spotted this young lady and a couple of her friends talking to a couple of brothers during halftime. I was immediately attracted to her because she has a gorgeous smile, a cute haircut, a nice shape with a future behind her, and some really fly boots. I'm always a sucker for a mean shoe game. I'm checking her out while I am standing in the long ass line at the concession stand. It became obvious that the two guys were making the moves on her friends which left her to stand there looking so damn sexy all by herself. Why they weren't trying to get with her, I couldn't explain. However, that was all I needed to see. After getting my food, I made my move. We chatted for a minute, exchanged numbers, and then headed to our respective sections of the arena. Unfortunately, the Hawks lost that night but I left Phillips Arena feeling like a winner.

I'm not really one of those people who believes in waiting two or three days before calling a woman after getting her phone number. So, I make the call the following evening. We have a pleasant chat; exchanging the basic background information that you do when trying to get to know someone. Where your from, where you went to school, blah...blah...blah..! After a few of these conversations we agree to meet up that Sunday afternoon to check out an exhibit at the High Museum. The date is nice. Good conversation. She laughed at my corny jokes and everything. There just wasn't that spark that made me think that we could be a couple. Oh, that is one of my problems when it comes to dating. I don't have any patience.

Fast forward two weeks later, she and I continued to talk on the phone but no other dates had taken place. However, our conversations have progressively gotten more and more sexual in nature. By this time, both of our curiosities had been peeked. So we make the decision to get together for a little sexual seduction at the local Snooky's Motor Lodge. Let's just say that ole girl has all the qualities listed here. We both agree that if we aren't going to be a couple we could at least keep doing the grown up. Don't act like I'm the only one who's every had a FWB relationship!

Why do I have to be the one man in the world who had to start a friends with benefits relationship with a chick who gets jealous when I tell her I've got a date? I thought the benefit of this type of thing is that you get together when it is convenient and there are no feelings involved. If the loving wasn't so good, I would end this thing with the quickness. It's just not that easy to walk away from a woman with some mean throwback. Can somebody please give me the rules for this type of thing?


Opinionated Diva said...

LOL...I am certainly no expert. But I would think, that you need to establish the rules BEFORE you give someone the FWB title.

BEFORE you do the do, she/he should know where you stand with each other, if for no other reason than to remind them of the rules when they start getting attached.

LOL...leave that one alone - you're going to be sorry if you don't man!

Butta said...

Lawd Jesus! What you done got yourself into now? Wait, don't answer that.

I don't know, man. This chick sounds like she wants to be more than FWBennies or she wants to be the only chick that you have relations with. Perhaps when you tell her that you have a date she thinks you and whomever are gonna end up doing the grown folk as well? You may want to back away slowly from the poontang. She sounds CRAZY.

Eb the Celeb said...

ok.. so this story intrigues me..

1st - what did you say when you approached her... i have a bad habit of brushing dudes off that approach me unless the first thing that comes out of their mouth is creative and shows they took some time to think before approaching you... none of that psss mess... or excuse me you are so beautiful that I had to stop you mess... that's been done a zillion times

2nd- kudos for not being one of them that waits forever to call the first time. you were obviously interested enough to ask for the # so there's no point in trying to act all incog-negro after the fact... except the fact that the last time I went on a date with a dude that call me the next turned turned out to be the lamest ever... so I have been leaning lately towards the fact that it may be better to wait a couple days... nice place for a first date too... again kudos

3rd - why did ya'll go to a motor lodge... I really thought you would have more class than that SK... that jacked me up a bit

4th - I hate chicks like this because I crave for men to be real about things like this... but chicks like her go and mess it up. I honestly cant vouch or no why because that has never been me... I end up with the FWBs that lie about the other ish their doing. Just dont tell her nothing anymore... what she dont know wont hurt her!... but I'm with butta... she sounds a little crazy... you may want to all together leave that alone... yeah yeah the lovin is good but you gotta come from under that coochie control.

4th -

Skoolboi Krush said...

Diva - We had the talk and she agreed to an FWB relationship. Matter of fact, it was her idea to begin with.

Butta - I don't think she knows what she wants and that is the problem. If she wants to be more, she needs to be a woman and say that shit. We are going to be strangers if things continue like this.

Eb - So many questions...

1. I don't remember the exact words but it was something about her being the fifth wheel and me sharing my nachos with her if she promised to smile.

2. I used to do all that waiting stuff but it seems so juvenile now. If I'm interested, I'll call you the same day. The only reason I didn't in this case is that the game ended late. The museum was my idea. There was an exhibit that I really wanted to see and this was the perfect chance to go.

3. Ok, the Snooky's Motor Lodge is what I call all hotels. I didn't really take her somewhere with a vibrating bed and a red light. It was actually the Marriott Marquis.

4. So don't ask..don't tell is your policy? I'm not going lie to her about my whereabouts so I guess that is the best way to go. I'm not under coochie control either. We just have to check off a couple of things on my freak list before I walk away though.

Eb the Celeb said...

1. Thats cute

2. what exhibit... sorry Im nosey

3. Thank God - but what happened to just going to her crib? When i think hotel and sex in the same sentence and we both live in that city, I think of prostitute

4. If she asked, say simply "I'm going OUT" I'm not saying lie I'm saying you are not obligated at all that she know your whereabouts.

But dang you be having dates like that anyway??? I wish I had the rolodex rolling like that... I go months without having a date and then I do and wish I had just kept my behind at home. I saw on another blog that the person was dating themself. I think I'm about to start dating myself too.

But its good you found someone that you can exert all your freakiness on... get it all out ya system so you dont scare the chick thats the one...LOL

dejanae said...

Who are those chicks, that come in fully made-up wearing something scandalous then stand around and flirt for two hours?

I see them all the damn time
just shake my head and keep it movin
the scandalous outfit is aiight tho
its the gym. folk be sweatin and gettin hot but if u not workin out head to the damn club or something.
gettin a sistah mad just sittin at the machine chattin. Get ur lazy, hoebag ass up im tryna do something!!!
rant over

future behind her huh?
u took it back

majority of the fwb situations i know of don't seem to work out too well but do u
so as long as the pussy's good, u dont mind the accompanying crazy?

dejanae said...

oh one last thing
was there any toe-sucking involved?lol
i'm serious

Always.Funky.Fresh said...

Tell her she's reneged on the contract. It's stated in black and white in Section B. - Other Relations - Bullet 1.2 - It says that during said FWB relationship, neither party shall exhibit jealousy or sorrow if one party decides to date....

Eb the Celeb said...

@ dejanae - men do that mess too at the gym i go to... why the hell are you tryin to holla at me and I'm all sweaty and nasty... that annoys the crap out of me... can I just work out and go home...

and SK-- I wanna know too if toe-sucking revealed itself

Vivrant Thang said...

Lawdhamercy! How old is this around the way girl? Tell her to call Auntie Vivrant Thang so I can tell her a few things I had to learn the hard way. She has broken a cardinal rule. Don't ask, don't tell. The only thing I want to know from my FWB about anyone else he is seeing is if he's wrapping that pickle up. Other than that, I don't want to know. He better not fix his lips to ask me anything either. It shouldn't even come up if that's ALL it's going to be. Sounds like any future she has is all behind her.

Kudos to you for not waiting forever and a day to call. A dude did that one time and got mad when I forgot who he was. It was hilarious. Hey, you're not the last dude on Earth that I gave my number to. Don't get it twisted.

Oh and I look a hot mess at the gym. I'm there to work out. That's ALL.

And I understand going to the Dew Drop Inn in the beginning. You can't put everyone to bed in your bed.

Skoolboi Krush said...

Eb - The Atlanta High Museum has a three year exhibit of artifacts from The Louvre in France. This is the second year. The first time was a hotel visit because we live about an hour apart and you can't just bring anyone to your spot. Since then we've done some home visits though.

I would say I go out about once or twice every two weeks. You have to kiss a lot of frogs, right?

Oh, and the one is going to suggest freaky stuff that I haven't done yet. LOL

Dejanae - Good pussy will make you stay longer than you normally would. If her stuff was wack, I wouldn't even be thinking about it. No toe-sucking on the first night. A brother has to hold back something, dang!

As far as the scandalous outfits at the gym, this chick had on some shorts her little sister gave up after 8th grade gym and was holding court on the leg press machine.

Fresh - Exactly! If you can't hang with the big dogs then stay on the porch.

Vivrant - We talking about a grown ass 35 year old woman. Freaks ain't like they used to be. There was a time when a side chick would know her role but now they want to get treated like the main chick, huh? School 'em, Auntie V!

Eb the Celeb said...


clnmike said...

1- I am sorry you are a Hawks fan.
2- Rules have to be established before the bed room tango.
3-As good as it is it's best to just walk away.

Sha Boogie said...

Your hilarious!!!!! So, let me get this straight: No sparks, but you decided to keep it grown and sexy..she gets jealous when you have dates, so why are you telling her?..lol

AND I agree with clnmike - lay the line before the lay the pipe.

Gemini Girl aka GG said...

first off i couldn't stop laughing at SNOOKY's...and it seemed like you guys had already established you'd be friends and do the grown up thang..why she ackkk-ing so jealous!..she caught feelings already?? and why you telling her your whereabouts..scared you may run into her??? boy you bad!!!!