When we met, she said that she wanted a guy who could express himself. A brother who was not afraid to discuss his emotions with his woman. This was not the first time I had heard a sister express this desire for me to open up but it was the first time that I was seriously considering it. The women who had made this request in the past had not been the type of women who inspire a man to be his better self. They were the type of women that a man only gave the amount of effort necessary to keep the relationship going until it reached its expiration date. But she is different. She is the kind of woman that a man will get his shit together for and make sure it stays together so he can keep her around. So here I am, reaching deep inside and putting all my sensitive stuff on the table.
Despite what I said before, this is not the first time expressing my feelings to a woman. I just had not done it verbally. Like most men, I express my feelings for a woman by actions and not words. Any of my female friends who come to me for advice about dating will tell you that at some point I said to them, “Fuck what he said. What did he do?” The deeds of a man truly tell how he feels about a woman. That is how we express our love and devotion to our wives and our interest in potential girlfriends. However, every man reading this post can tell you about a conversation he’s had with a woman where she has told him that despite all he does for her she would love to hear how he feels every once and a while. My experience tells me that women ask for it but I am not sure if they really want to hear it.
As Jack Nicholson said in that movie, “You can’t handle the truth!” I had a sister tell me, after I had just opened up and expressed my interest in building a serious relationship with her, that she could not trust what I was saying; could not take me at face value because she did not know if I was just saying what I thought she wanted to hear. How do you overcome that type of mistrust? I understand that experience can make you suspicious of anything that seems too good to be true. However, it is what you asked for, right? It seems as if some women are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. They are so used to guys kicking game at them that a sincere gesture does not stand a chance. Of course, I know that I am making a generalization that does not apply to all women. Just speaking from my experience and from stories, I have heard.
Are you ready for the type of love you say you want?
Why is it so difficult to accept a man who is expressing his true emotions to you?
Have you ever opened your heart to a woman and she did not accept it?
Does it make you reluctant to express yourself more freely in a relationship?