1.28.2009

Yes, No or Maybe!

In the 5Th grade, the note I passed to Rebekkah Taylor was intercepted because nosey-ass LaShonda McIntyre wanted to know what it said. Yeah, that’s right. I’m naming names! If the term was around back then, she would be what now known as a hater. This was the moment I feared, the main reason that I had been walking around with this note in my Trapper Keeper for the past two days. The worst thing a boy at McGlone Elementary could do was make a fool of himself in homeroom. Before lunch, the word would have spread throughout the school and either your reputation would be ruined or made. I had seen it happen on more than one occasion. A note is intercepted, the information is spread throughout the school and by lunchtime, there is a whole bunch of pointing and laughing. Especially if was what in my note was seen by the eyes of LaShonda. Never did like that girl.

My note was for Kim Pearson, a very precious ten year-old with high-top jellies, glasses and bangs. I wanted to know if she would be my girl. It had become obvious to me that Kim was feeling me every since Mrs. Henderson placed us in the same math group a couple of weeks prior. A few times, I caught her smiling at me from across the lunch room and she even punched me in the shoulder when I cracked a joke on her fake members only jacket. I was using the preferred method of the time, three boxes; one for yes, one for no, and one for maybe. I never really liked that maybe box. It left too much room for later embarrassment. The type of embarrassment that was awaiting me after my note fell into the hands of the demon seed.

Once she got her hands on my letter, she felt like it was her duty to share it with all of her girlfriends with whom she shared a table at lunch. I could see them pointing and giggling in the direction of my table in the lunchroom. Already a shy guy, this type of attention was the worst thing that could have happened to me. Soon, everybody was teasing me about my like for Kim. There was little doubt that word had even gotten back to her about my crush.

So I was expecting the worst when she approached me the next morning a couple of minutes before the first bell rung. I was standing in line outside the door of my homeroom class with my boys, Shane, Anthony, and Terry. I didn’t see her coming but Anthony tapped me and said, “Krush, check it out!” When I turned in that direction and saw the girl of my dreams coming toward me, I was tempted to run. I didn’t know if she was going to punch me in the face or, even worse, laugh in my face for thinking that she would feel the same way about me. She didn’t do either. She said, “Hey Krush!” and passed me her own note. I waited until I got to my desk to open it. The embarrassment from the day before was enough for one week. She had recreated my original note and checked the maybe box. At least she didn’t say no.

It seems as if most of today’s relationships are in that maybe box. I guess a little embarrassment is not anything compared to a broken heart. Somewhere along the line, putting a title on what you and your “friend” are doing is too much for some. I am not talking about two people who are in the early stages and still feeling each other out. I am talking about those people who are fully into the “relationship” and have developed serious feelings for one another. It is not just the guys who are feeling this way but it seems like a growing number of women that I meet are reluctant to make it “official” with their boo. Do not misunderstand what I am talking about, these folks are still doing all of the things that you do when you are in a relationship. They just aren’t calling it that. Most of the people that I have talked to that refuse to label their relationships will privately admit that they are madly in love. However, some of them will not even verbally admit that to their significant other. Somebody please explain this to me.

I guess there is some mysterious change in the relationship once you start calling it a relationship. It is similar to when you go from shacking up to being husband and wife. Although, I never really understood that one either.

Are you reluctant to put a title on your relationships? Why?

What changes in the relationship once it becomes official?

6 comments:

Jimmy said...

In the past I have been reluctant to put the title on my relationships and this last time it cost me the relationship.

She didn't think I was feelin her when I was... Oh well, live and learn.

clnmike said...

I dont know why but it seems like putting a title on it is like begging for something to go wrong.

Another thing is that your not really into that person and you keep waiting till something better comes along which usually doesnt.

Ieisha said...

I'm reluctant to put a label on this "relationship" that I'm sorta in right now cuz it's complicated. It's my ex (son' father) and we were back on things and then off and then back and then on and I'm just tired of the roller coaster.

yeah, part of it is me because I allow the non-labeling to take place but my reluctance comes from the fact that the label will commit me TOTALLY to things and I'm not 100% sure that's where he wants to be with it and if not and the shit doesn't work out again, I'm done. I'm talking chapter closed, never to revisit. Not ready to make that final so this gray area works b/c it allows us to BOTH avoid the situation.

I know, crazy ain't it?

The more I write, the more I realize the insanity in what I'm doing. I'm gonna need a moment on this one.

*walking away deep in thought*

Skoolboi Krush said...

Jimmy - How come she didn't know? Did you feel pressure to express more than normal?

Mike - So if they are reluctant to put the title on it then it means they aren't that much into you? I know a couple people who are very much into their mates but just don't want to call it anything.

Ieisha - So you aren't going to commit since you don't think he wants to commit? That's why I don't believe in going backwards.

Jimmy said...

I think both of us had been in so many 'bad' relationships that there was alot of misunderstandings on the part of both of us.

I thought I told her everything that I expected and was willing to do (give), but I don't think she either (a) heard what I was realy sayin, or (b) believed what I was sayin because of her past realtionship experiences.

Then I also was upfront about how I got when I felt pressured and then she 'pressured' me alot. It made me uncomfortable and would cause me to withdraw, when she was trying to get me to open up. She probably took this as I really wasn't diggin her, when in fact I was, but I was feeling uncomfortable because of my past experiences.

So there you have it, the blind beating the blind over the head, aka major communication issues in the relationship.

Gemini Girl aka GG said...

If I'm into you and want a future with you then a title is important to me to make sure we are both headed down the same path.
Nothing changes dramatically if all goes well we continue to grow and our relationship flourishes.