What’s up y’all!
At the beginning of this year, I declared that this year was going to be all about personal growth for me. Well, as of this moment it has been a colossal fail. I am still dealing with the same issues from 2008, 2005, and hell 2003. Remember that long lists of things that should not have made it into 2009? Some of that shit has crept in the back door.
They say of the first step towards solving your problems is acknowledging that you have one. In that spirit, I want to publicly say that I love being in a relationship and I can be good at starting new ones but I am horrible when it comes to maintaining a good healthy relationship. The first reason is that I am the quintessential Gemini. I can be in my own world and space and not give enough energy or time to the relationship. I can be moody and not easy to get along with. I can be selfish and all about me. You are probably saying that is true for most of us. Yes, but for me that can all happen in one day. Hell, I’ve never claimed to be a day at the beach. Lately, my issues have seemingly multiplied in intensity. Work-related stress and beating myself up over things that aren’t going right have put me in a state of depression. That’s one reason why I haven’t posted anything worthwhile in such a long time. Nobody wants to hear a grown man whine about anything so I’ve been dealing with things on my own. Let’s just say that hasn’t been working out like I had hoped.
So that brings me back here to the blogisphere to air my dirty laundry and try to find resolution. I will be using this space to vent on some of my more personal issues that I would never have put out there in the past. I’m sure it will cost me some of the five or six readers that I currently have but I feel like this is a serious crossroads for me.