FRESH for '09.....You Suckas!

How do you keep a relationship hot? Make sure that you and your baby don't get bored with one another? You ask enough people and you will find that the one thing all of them will say is that you need to have your own life so that you can bring something to the table. Outside interests, circle of friends, and family should never suffer when you are in a relationship. The funny part is that as solid as this advice is, I didn't pay attention to it. Let my relationship take up all my time and never set aside time for me. Bad idea!

So step two of Operation Get My Swagger Back is getting a life. The plan is to get back into my writing, go back to school, hang with my friends, travel, and enjoy life. Its really all about the simple things though like being happy with me. Lately, I have been beating myself up for what I am not. Like Kanye says though, "everything I am not makes me everything I am.". Got to embrace the good and the bad.

How do you express your individuality within a relationship? What things do you do just for yourself that don't include your mate? How do you maintain a good balance between individual growth and the collective growth?


Anonymous said...

Ha...relationships are a joke. People putting tabs on each other without that $36 paper (marriage license) to back it up. But you are on the right track..still keep your own life...absence makes the heart grow fonder..at least that's what I've heard.



How do you express your individuality within a relationship? Well obviously each person is different, as is each relationship. I think in the beginning, it's hard not to "lose" yourself, as it's still the "new" phase. But if you do one thing you like a week, without the S.O. then you are on the right track...

Also, you & the S.O. can try something new one day a week as well (i.e. wine tasting, plays, cooking class, traveling, boxing class, yoga, new bar, picnic for two...you get the idea)

Solomon said...

I don't need to worry about expressing my idividuality, I have no attachment, it seems I have too much time for myself

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

I think individuality is very important in a relationship. I need a certain amount of space. Let me miss the dude....dang....lol. Otherwise I'll take things for granted and get bored. Maintaining a level of balance is difficult though.

Ieisha said...

Maintaining the balance is quite difficult. I'm trying to do that, plus be a mom, plus be a law student.

I have a very strong personality though so it's hard to smother it in any relationship for too long.

But I feel you on being consumed with your relationship to the point you begin to feel like you're losing your identity.

I like to read, shop and go see the chick flicks that I know he doesn't care to see. I do those things solo to keep my sanity and have some personal space.

Pick up a hobby. Well, yours is writing so I'd say get back into that. I think everything else will balance out once you start nurturing your interests.