5.13.2009

10 Ways Guys Mess Things Up

How many of these have I made? Let’s just say you need both hands to count them. Am I the only one who just can’t get right?

Ten Relationships Mistakes Men Make (and Just How Many Violations Do I Have):

1.Giving a woman too much power – If the woman is determining when you go out, when you make love, or who you can be friends with then that relationship isn’t going to last very long. A brother has to know his own worth and act accordingly. In one of those 80-20 scenarios, it is as if you do not feel worthy of the woman and you will do anything she says to keep her happy. Big mistake. Truth be told, she does not want to be in control either but she will do it if you do not step up to the plate.

2.Trying to invoke too much of your own control – As much as you should not give up all the control to your woman, you should not try to be too in control yourself. Nobody loves a tyrant. Finding a nice balance is essential to making a healthy happy relationship.


3.Believing that the good you do today will last until tomorrow – Despite what women say, you cannot build up goodwill that you can cash in whenever you mess up. The flowers and candy you gave her the other day do not mean anything today when you did not call her until the next morning after a night out with your friends.

4.Being domineering or overly possessive – No woman likes the overly jealous type or being told what to do. Even though she wants you to lead, she still wants to be treated with respect and as an equal. The funny thing is that I know women who do not think a guy really cares unless he gets jealous.

5.Allowing family members or friends to dictate what happens in the relationship - Opinions are like _____ and everybody has one. In the end, it is the couple’s decisions that matter and neither family nor friends should be influencing the direction of your relationship.


6.Always kissing up – Outside of the basic level of respect that you give all women, everything else must be earned. Do not place your SO on such a high pedestal that she does not remember the ground. This goes back to knowing your worth.

7.Complacency - Being tenacious and goal-oriented is all a woman wants in her man. You do not have to have the world (but she would love it if you did) yet. Show some progress and things will be fine.

8.Choosing a woman based on appearance alone – Yeah, she’s fine but does she make sense when she talks…are you compatible…what are her goals and ambitions? Guys can get caught up in the imagery that comes along with a woman and forget to look for the important things.

9.Placing someone (anyone) or something before your mate - This includes friends, relatives (See Mistake #5), co-workers, animals, your car, or your hobbies. If a woman feels like something or someone is more important to you than she is then she won’t hear anything you are trying to say.

10.Yielding to temptation from other women - For some reason, there are women who go after men that are already attached. Recognize those women and steer clear of them if you can. This might be number 10 but it is the easiest way to end up a victim of a Waiting to Exhale moment.

4 comments:

lyfesimplified said...

1. VERY TRUE...my ex-husband allowed me to take control and I did. I got away with what I was allowed. I pretty much ran the house! Of course out of order for a household our marriage did not last!

5. Yep this is a no no..I've learned in past relationships you can't expect your friends and family to be happy to see the guy when you've only talked about what a crummy guy he is!

8. I think you can type this until you are blue in the face. A man will always go for appearance over anything else..

Cool Post!

Gemini Girl aka GG said...

Preach on No. 7 - She loves you, she believes in you!! ..she's with you..so go for it!
AMEN to No. 9
and HALLELUYER to No. 10 - Infiltrators be DAMNED!!!

dbthinks said...

Makes sense overall dude.. Nice stuff

DC DIVA DATING ADVENTURES said...

I think a lot of guys get messed up at no. 10....