Passing Notes

What a week, right? From the death of Teddy Pendergrass to the earthquake in Haiti. It has just been one reminder after another that life is so short and that we need to treasure each moment we have, good and bad. For most of the younger generation, their only exposure to Teddy P was from the mention in The Nutty Professor movie. However, I remember him all the way back to his days in Harold Melvin and The Blue Notes. His voice stood out on those old records my father used to play on Saturday mornings. He was not the smooth balladeer that was just a little too pretty for a young boy to want to emulate but a strong masculine brother who demanded that his female companion turn the lights off. Loved that dude. His death along with the death of Gerald Levert brings to end for me the era of the real male r&b singer.

The tragedy in Haiti really breaks my heart. The people of that country were already struggling before this disaster. I have sent up many prayers for the men, women, and children. However, I have not texted, emailed, or tweeted for charity. Something about that seems shady to me. One thing we learned from Katrina is that much of the money, supplies, and clothing that people donated never reached the actual people in need. So how do you help in a situation that you feel helpless about? Any suggestions?

I was listening to the Stephen A. Smith show this morning on my way to work and the topic of conversation was the Tiger Woods fiasco and recent reports that Tiger has checked into a rehab center for sexual addiction. Stephen and his female co-host quaffed at the idea of that being Tiger’s problem and the entire belief in sexual addiction. The co-host made a comment that all men must suffer from this addiction because monogamy seems to be a universal problem for that gender. That theory also led to the belief that this was the reason that so many women were single and unable to find suitable partners. Of course, Stephen disputed this notion by saying that it is the certain women’s unrealistic expectation that the men they date/marry should come to them as fully realized, developed, and finished products. It is his belief that a man is not completed or polished until he finds that woman who will mold him into his full potential. There is certain logic to his theory but I am not sure I would agree with it entirely. I agree that neither women nor men should expect a flawless package when dealing with the opposite sex. However, everyone should have a standard or minimum qualification for potential suitors. What do you think? Are you expecting the people you begin a relationship to have accomplished everything except a committed relationship? I am thinking the answer will change depending upon the age of the person answering.

Playoff Picks:

Saints over Cardinals

Ravens over Colts

Vikings over Cowboys

Jets over Chargers


amy said...

Oohweee.... Got me writing today Krush!

The news of Teddy's death saddened me too. His music has been a part of my library longer than many others. It also makes me think about how many people are passing so young. What happened to living into your 80s and 90s? Very sad. And I agree with you about Gerald Levert, too.

As far as helping Haiti, I am not sure about the donation spots and their validity. Personally, I believe in the power of prayer. It was upsetting the other day when someone actually tweeted that money could do more than prayer? (Are they kidding?!?) But, I am certain that Haiti need money, supplies and volunteers, and most definitely prayer.

Now about men & women... hmm you opened a can of worms. (Are you sure you want to ask for comments on this one? Lol.) I don't believe that all men suffer from sexual addiction, and I think to link such a generalization with monogamy is a shame. I don't think "all men" or "all women" can be grouped like that when it comes to behavior. And believe me when I say that I have been through some things that would give me reason to believe otherwise. But I think it just comes down to choices... we all make them every day. We make good ones and bad ones, and some of those are life changing.
As for women helping to mold men into what they are to become, I think there is some truth to that. But I also think that it takes maturity to be in a relationship, and to be able to contribute and commit -- in order to be monogamous. Some people, both men and women, aren't 'there' yet and they have no business faking it. I think the most important thing is it boils down to honesty -- being able to be honest about what you want, expect, and are bringing to the table -- without that, there will not be a lasting union for anyone. The people that I've dealt with that have been that -- honest -- are the people I respect the most. The ones who didn't break down the truth (even their own truth) are the ones whom I can't respect... and consequently who I couldn't be in a relationship with.
To me, it doesn't really boil down to 'what all men do' it is really about the person - each man/woman is different, each with a set of flaws, and each with a set of choices in front of them... People categorize in order to find comfort. But sometimes, you have to just look at the choices, behaviors -- even your own. And in order to have better, sometimes we have to take responsibility for our own choices, including who we choose to be with.

Skoolboi Krush said...

@amy - I guess I hit a nerve on that one. I totally agree with you about people being honest with themselves and whoever they are dealing with about needs, wants, and expectations. You are also are definitely right about viewing people on an individual basis and not as a collective.

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

My favorite tv shows air on Tuesdays. I wonder if it has something to with being allergic to pollen.