Have you seen her?

How’s it going, family? It’s your man, Krush, back after a lovely week in Black Hollywood aka A-T-L, Jawga! First thing I want to say is that YOU BETTER GET RIGHT WITH THE LORD AND DO IT NOW. It was over 70 degrees every day of this week. It’s the middle of December! What is really going on? I bet Al Gore is somewhere with a sly smile across his face saying,”Y’all gone learn. Either you listen to me or learn the hard way but y’all are gone learn.”

My girl, Ebonne, had an interesting blog the other day about the “perfect” man for her and how the guys she deals with have to fit inside a box. Of course, she has exceptions to the rule but for the most part, she avoids dudes who are outside the boundaries of what she considers ideal future husband material. It made me wonder if I really know what I want in a woman. Have I really sat down and listed out the qualities that would make the perfect match for me? The answer was no. I have approached and talked to women who for some reason catch my attention or peak my interest. For the most part, this method has been effective in getting me interesting dates, crazy girlfriends and the occasionally deranged stalker. For example, I once had a dinner date with this sexy Jamaican/German woman from NY that I met while walking around Stone Mountain. We had talked on the phone a couple times before this and I have to admit that there was an instant chemistry. I guess because of these earlier conversations and a couple of drinks we downed while waiting for our table, the conversation took a turn to the freaky side. She suddenly asked me, “What is the wildest thing you’ve done sexually since your divorce?” I tell her about a couple chicks that I took home (not on the same night!) from happy hour at my neighborhood watering hole. She tells me that her and her last boyfriend used to swing and that she hosted a swinger’s party at her house…CHECK PLEASE!! Please believe that your boy is not a prude but I am not about to waste good money on a chick that I cannot proudly take anywhere because I do not know who in the place has touched her musn’t-touch-it!

Anyway, let’s get back to what I believe are the qualities that my perfect match should posses.
1. She has to have a nice smile. Pretty teeth, sexy lips, and fresh breath. I love to kiss and you can’t kiss on somebody whose grill is jacked up.
2. She has to keep her hair, nails, and toes done. I don’t think there is any excuse for a woman whose upkeep is a mess.
3. She has to have good fashion sense and a mean shoe game. Not necessarily trendy but a working knowledge of what looks good on her and how to emphasize her best assets. As a brother with a foot fetish, the first think I check out on a cute chick is her shoe game and her toes.
4. She has to have a good sense of humor. Life is too stressful not to laugh at you sometimes. I can’t stand somebody who is always serious.
5. She has to have similar tastes in music. A big part of my life is listening to music either at the crib, at a concert, at a club or in the ride. If she is constantly trying to eject my Erro CD so she can hear T-Pain, it’s a problem!
6. She has to have her own life. I could never be the guy with the girlfriend who is like his shadow. I’d rather be Stedman. I’ve never been afraid of a strong independent woman. Besides, no relationship works when you don’t have space to grow as an individual. You need to bring something to the experience.
7. She has to be good in bed. Any grown person knows that sex is a very important part of any relationship. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets! I can’t stand a pillow princess.
8. She has to be good in the kitchen. As you can tell from my pic, I love to eat. Now, I can navigate my way around kitchen myself but I would love to have a woman who can throw down. Besides if we really have a future she is going to have to come around my family and the only way to bond with the women is to join them in the kitchen during family functions.
9. She has to seek her own counsel. I can’t stand a sister who takes the advice of her friends and family to heart more than how she actually feels about it. All of us know that one of the main things that break up good relationships is taking advice from people who aren’t involved. Any female that I deal with will have to have a good head on her shoulders.
10. She has to love sports. Like most guys, I’m a sports fanatic. Fall, winter and spring weekends for me always revolve around some type of sporting event. Having an appreciation for that will go along way for any lady who wants to spend quality time with me. She doesn’t have to know everything about the game but if she did that wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Those are the first ten things I thought about. I'm sure there are other things that should be on the list but we'll talk about them another time. So am I asking for too much or too little?


eclectik said...

LOVE the list fam
That is exactly what's up!
You know I got one of my own over there on the blog somewhere

I agree with everything there...I dont need a chef though she aint gotta cook

Needs her own income...some goals and aspirations too!

You big cool blog havin, list makin...

Hit the blog and board up when you get a chance...lemme add you to the blogroll right quick



The Message board (Grown folk talk)

Ebonne said...

Hey there...

Thanks for the shout... glad my blog inspired you to put your foot down (literally...lol) in regards to the type of woman you look for... and since you sized yourself up to my list you know I have to do the same...

1. So yeah I guess I got a nice smile... got a mini gap that I was thinking about getting closed but since the top model the season before the last one kept hers... I think I might keep mine too

2. Check on all the upkeep, you cant be a socialite like me without hair, nails, and toes done all the time...lol

3. I have good fashion sense but I get so bored so quick... I cant even keep an viable shoe collection because everytime the season changes I get tired of clothes and shoes and am donating a whole bunch of stuff to the salvation army or battered women's shelter... and then go and re-up... so I guess I should have added to my list that my man has to understand that I have to shop everytime the season changes and not have a problem with it...
Some stuff is timeless though and forever stays in my closet but I am a bit of a trendy person when it comes to fashion... I dont comform... I make it my own but I am pretty trendy.

4. Of course I have a good sense of humor

5. Check out my playlist on my page and tell me if I measure up... and I despise T-Pain

6. Definitely have my own life... and it takes a strong man to be able to deal with that. LMAO at "you'd rather be Stedman" what man wouldnt want to be stedman...

7. I wouldnt characterize myself as a freak in the sheets, but I hold my own

8. I can cook... dont like to though... I am a career woman... not domestic... but I can cook and will cook for my man from time to time but not one of them that is going to rush home to have dinner waiting for my husband every night of the week... its just not happening

9. I am probably too opinionated for my own damn good... I dont think I ever take advice from my girlfriends since I graduated from college... I tend to be the one they come to but I just dont like my business being out there enough to tell them when I am having probs

10. jackpot... that is me all day everyday... I watch football damn near every sunday by myself... cuddled up in my bed with my pizza and wings and beer and will not answer my phone when my cowboys are on... yeah its serious... my homegirls just dont get it... but always want me to go partying with them when we go to an entertainment industry party so I can point out to them who are the athletes are... now aint that a blip... they dont want to watch and learn with me but want me to point them out to them when we are out...

Overalll you made me remember a couple things I forgot on my list so I had to edit a couple things in...thanks

James Tubman said...

to ebonne: don't get that closed sweetheart

don't change anything you're perfect

i just have one requirement

she gotta be a FREAK

everything else i can work on

Skoolboi Krush said...

E - You know that I think we might be long lost relatives or something. Every time I read your blog I find myself nodding in agreement.

Ebonne - I've been checking you out for a minute. I already know that you are more than qualified. That's why I was upset you didn't holla at me when you came through the A.

James - You trying to mold your freak into the perfect housewife, huh? Good luck with that, brother!

dejanae said...

CHECK PLEASE!! Please believe that your boy is not a prude but I am not about to waste good money on a chick that I cannot proudly take anywhere because I do not know who in the place has touched her musn’t-touch-it!

hmmmm interesting list

Ebonne said...

tubman and krush... thanks for making me smile today.. the last 24 hours I have been about to kill some people at work and your compliments just saved a couple people from getting told off...

Skoolboi Krush said...

ebonne - please don't be the ugly black woman at work...i know folks will make you go there sometimes...

Vivrant Thang said...

Bwahaha! Ole girl should have held her tongue on the one. That was too much info for a first date...or a 20th for that matter. Some things you keep to yourself.

Cute list. Well at least you have an idea of what you want. A lot of these things are superficial though. I'd like to see a deeper list at some point. When your wife is 60, her toes are gonna look like some old cornchips more than likely. So there needs to be more to it than that!

Funny. I could check about 99% of the things on this list off, as could a lot of women, so they think. How hard is it to find the last one? That's always my ace in the hole. Guys love it that I'm more fanatic about watching the game than they are...and I actually know what's going on. Ha!