1.29.2008

Bad Date Karma Pt. II

I think it was guilt that made me do it. I mean it was a forgivable mistake but I still didn’t want her walking around thinking that I was the type of guy to leave a woman waiting at a bar alone. Whatever it was, I agreed to meet her for dinner on Saturday at one of my favorite spots in the city. Something about her behavior the night before and the odd text message was trying to tell me that I should just walk away from this chick but did I listen. Hell no! You see, I’ve always been a magnet for women who are a few fries short of a happy meal. I’ve had a fatal attraction chick who tried to stab me in the park and another sister who claimed that she could levitate on demand. So the little display of psycho behavior from this woman wasn’t a real deterrent for me.

Strike One:
My usual rule about first dates is to make it happen during the day if possible. One reason is that I’d be mad as hell if my entire evening was ruined by a horrible date. The other reason is that I want to get a good look at the person. In keeping with that theme, we were supposed to meet for dinner at 5:00 PM. I’ve checked my breath, smoothed down my bushy eyebrows and am getting ready to exit my truck at 4:55 PM when my cell phone rings. It’s her telling me that she is lost but thinks she will be there in about ten minutes. If you are lost, how can you estimate a time of arrival? At this point, I’m starting to think that maybe she is getting me back and really doesn’t have any plans of showing up for the date. If that is the case, I figure that I can at least go inside and get a drink from the bar. Thirty minutes and two Crown and cokes later, I get another call saying that she is parking and will be inside shortly.

Strike Two:
I think of myself as an open-minded person who can appreciate people of all shapes and sizes for their own beauty. However, people who really know me would tell you that I can be extremely judgmental and quick to cut somebody off. That is probably why I knew this date was going to be a dud when I saw her walk around the corner wearing one of Beverly Johnson’s best wigs. Now ladies, I’m not against a woman wearing a wig every now and then. Hell, it can be a nice prop in the bedroom. It’s like having sex with different women without cheating. The problem with this wig was that it was just a little bit crooked. During the entire dinner, I wanted to lean across the table and pull it down on the left side. What is the proper etiquette for something like that? I couldn’t concentrate on anything she was saying because of this distraction. Ladies, what should I have done?

Strike Three:
The one personality type that I just can’t stand is a complainer. You know the type who is always finding fault with something. This chick here was one of the worst complainers that I have ever had the misfortune of being around. The place that we were having dinner was one the most popular spots in Atlanta so on a Saturday evening it was crowded. Having lived here for several years that is something that you learn to deal with and accept. She complained about the length of our wait for seating, which table we were seated, the strength of her Tequila Sunrise, the amount of time we had to wait for our food, the level of noise in the restaurant, the line in the women’s restroom, the amount of the tip I left, and how long it took the valet to bring her car. Then had the nerve to ask me what I was doing for the rest of the evening as if she wanted to hang out some more.

YOU ARE OUT!!!

14 comments:

Eb the Celeb said...

DEAD @ "I’ve always been a magnet for women who are a few fries short of a happy meal"

also dead at her wig being crooked... there is nothing you can do in that situation... just let it be... first and foremost... she just got out of her car so I'm sure she looked at herself and freshened up the lipgloss before she walked in so maybe it was suppose to have that gangsta lean...LOL ... How was her hair the night before? You cant be doing drastic changes like that on a man you just met.

How the hell can she complain about a tip that she didn't put anything in for...

damn... you make me feel bad for encouraging you to go out on that date...

Vivrant Thang said...

Dead @ the whole post. I'm hollerin over the chick's crooked Beverly Johnson. I can just imagine the side eye you were giving that HAM. I like how you think though re: the prop. You are a mess! There needs to be a book in your future.

Yea, even if she had a good future behind her and freak potential, she deserved to be OUT. She fouled out of the game with me after that ludicrous text. Hell, she deserved a double technical. Weirdo.

However, I'm really gonna need you to seriously ponder why you keep attracting these mental patients.

I'm also gonna need the story of the park incident.

Vivrant Thang said...

Oh and there is no proper etiquette for something like that on a first date. All you could really do is keep staring at it and hope she catches your drift. However in this case, I think the crooked look was very appropriate since everything underneath was also lopsided.

Opinionated Diva said...

LMAO @ what are you doing later!!!!

How did you handle her complaining? What a mood killer!

I'm seriously confused as to why she complained about the tip YOU left with YOUR money?!! Did she think it was too much for subpar service or something?!

Be glad you found out she was nutso sooner rather than later!

Opinionated Diva said...

and I am so cracking up at you talking about a wig makes for a nice prop in the bedroom!!! LOL

BossMack said...

Whats Good Peoples, somtimes God wants you to check a bitch without hesitation. Like when you were experiencing all of those various levels of complaining, you should have smiled and said "Yous tha typa bitch that never has nice shit to say huh?" then you sit back and see how that throws a monkey wrentch into her composure. It works lovely, that will make a bitch get right or bounce.

Eb the Celeb said...

Bossmack need his behind whooped for that comment...

I'm just glad I'm not the only one who has had a lame date lately... Join the club!

MsPuddin said...

a few fries short of a happy meal? lol hey men like crazy and women like jerks...wait didn't you say you met her on MySpace? I rest my case.

Skoolboi Krush said...

Eb - Her hair was in a nice bob the night before and then she shows up wearing a jet black straight wig that is cocked ace duece. Since she complained about the service, she thought I left too much for the tip. I gave them a little extra for putting up with her. LOL

Vivrant - Don't think that I'm trying to figure out how to get that magnet out of my pocket. I really didn't know what too say about the wig so I just tilted my head to the right so it would look straight.

Diva - I was patient with her complaining at first but towards the end of dinner I had stopped talking and was just looking around the restaurant. Are you trying to tell me that you never dressed up for a man? LOL

Mack - I had already checked out and was enjoying my meal. She could have said anything and it wouldn't have mattered to me.

Eb - I'm not only a member but the damn President!

Puddin - Exactly! I've got to start paying attention to those warning signs, huh?

Opinionated Diva said...

Dress up yes...but not my hair - wigs and weaves, make me itch like I have fleas. LOL!

MsMarvalus said...

Wow! I'm not a frequent visitor, SK, but this post has me rolling!

I say, you shoulda told Diva-wannabe that her wig was ace deuce and watched her reaction...not in a mean way, tactfully...

"Umm, you may want to visit the ladies room...I think your hair is on crooked." Something like that...

And truly, you waited 15 minutes too long on her ass anyway...

Gemini Girl aka GG said...

wow!! listen to your gut homie!!!
complainers and debbie downers are a turn off BIGTIME!!!

now about the wig..i'm just done..you could've pretended she had some lent in her hair and yanked it thus straightening out the crookedness MESS! LMAO!!!

Still_Pocahontaz said...

During the entire dinner, I wanted to lean across the table and pull it down on the left side.

Skoolboi…I have just one question for you
WHAT COLOR DO YOU WANT YOUR HANDBASKET IN?

Oshun said...

Dammit!! You got my side HURTING!!! LMAO!!!!