Republicans – You lost the election and you don’t have the majority in the Senate or House. Just because your guy lost, doesn’t mean you have to wish ill on the country so you can win the next election. All that, “We are doomed” talk. SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!
Obama Lovers – I am very happy that for the first time in my life the better candidate actually won an election. I was truly moved that this country could elect a black man to the highest office in the land. However, I am not so excited that I think he’ll be the answer to all our problems and put people back to work, in their homes, and out of debt. He’s just a man and the issues that face this country are serious and require very complex solutions that may not happen within four years. No, he is not going to send you a check, pay your mortgage, get your baby daddy out of jail, or clear your credit. You have to do some of that shit for yourself. SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!
My boss – This chick is such a lazy fat ass. She is constantly passing all her work on to me. I not only have to do my work but most of her work as well. Yeah, I know she’s my boss and that is what she is supposed to do. However, she passes me her work because she doesn’t know how to do it. When I do it, she takes credit for it as if she did it all by herself. On top of that, she is always referring to how things were done in her old job like it was the greatest place on earth. SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!
My fantasy football team – I have lost five weeks in a row. It doesn’t matter who I start because they all end up having a horrible game. I’m not giving up because I need to have a respectable record when the season ends. My chances of making the playoffs or winning anything are gone though. SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!