If Your Heart Isn't In It...

I told y'all a while back that for some reason people tend to come to me for relationship advice. I guess they don't hear all my stories about sabotaging perfectly good things or having a knack for saying just the wrong thing at the right time. Last week, one of my new employees came over to my desk to ask me what he should do about a young lady he was "seeing", really that he was fucking. I sat him down and asked him to give me a little background on the situation. “Krush, I just don’t understand why a woman who knows I’m not looking for a relationship would still catch feelings.” I immediately knew he was in trouble but I wanted to hear the entire story laid out before I said anything.

Apparently, he and this young lady had gone to college together and for the past year had been sex partners. That was a red flag for me because in my opinion those types of relationships are temporary by design. After some time, you need to move on because you’ve gotten involved with someone else or god-forbid you want to try to turn it into a real relationship. To further complicate this particular situation, my co-worker had been spending significant boyfriend time with a chick he says he only views as a jump-off. By boyfriend time, I’m talking about going over for home-cooked meals, movie nights, and even hanging with her and her friends. Nothing wrong with any of that but it’s not exactly the ideal thing to do if you don’t want a woman to start feeling you. So as can be expected, the young lady has decided that she wants to take this thing to the next level. You can’t really blame her. However, dude has a full roster of chicks that he isn’t trying to give up. Settling down is the last thing on his mind. Did I mention we are talking about some babies here? Both of them are twenty-four.

The kicker to his sob story was that he had paid homegirl’s electric bill a couple months prior. As soon as he told me that I said, “Hell, if you pay any bill in my house, we go together. I can see why she is expecting this to turn into something.” All he could say to me was, “I have always told her that I didn’t want a relationship.” Shaking my head was the only thing I could do at that point. This was a line that men have uttered over and over again when trying to figure out just what went wrong in their attempts to be a player. I’ve said it a few times myself. I told him about his violations of the rules of a jump-off and he said that he just couldn’t be that cold about it. He needed to spend some time with this woman and admitted that the sex was too good for him to act any differently. My response, “If you don’t have the heart to be a player, get a girlfriend.”

That’s a lesson I learned early. I could never be a player so I don’t even try to live that life. Unfortunately, I’m not good a relationships either. Guess I’ll be a lonely old man. My young co-worker should take this a fork in the road and change his game. By the way, I’m not even going to tell y’all about the chick who acted a fool at his momma’s house the same weekend. However, its spring time and he wasn't trying to hear what I was telling him. We will be back here in a matter of months.

Showing Mike Some Love

Passing Notes

Happy Monday! How was everybody’s weekend? I am making a conscious effort to write more blogs in 2009 than I did in the last half of ’08. I am sure you noticed that, right? I would like to say that my real life got so hectic that I did not have time to write but that would not be the truth. Honestly, I just did not have anything to say. As many blogs that I have read acknowledge, it is easier to write when things are not going right in your life. You are trying to work things out in your mind and seeking some sort of clarity. When you are happy and content, you just do not want to jinx it. I want to reverse that philosophy and start acknowledging the good things in life and celebrating happy times. Hope you do not mind!

CL:
This was a typical weekend for CL and me. Friday night, she was with the kids and I went out for drinks with a friend. Saturday, I had to work so I did not get over her house until that afternoon. Unbeknownst to her, I made a quick trip to the Coach Outlet and picked up a purse for her. Do not believe what the rappers say, it is tricking if you got it. Seriously, I owed her a Christmas present, so this was my attempt to make up for it. She seemed to like it. Sunday, I watched football and played around on the computer. CL had stuff to do with the kids. It hit me last night that I have the coolest girlfriend in the world. Any of the other women I have dated would have been trippin’ about time spent.

NBA 2K9:
My name is Krush and I am a 2K9 addict. I know y’all remember the commercials when this game first came out with KG and The Cool Kids bumping’. So far, this is my favorite game for my Xbox 360. I cannot play it during the week because I will be up way past the time that I should have my ass in the bed. If any of you play online, let me know so you can get run.

NFL Playoffs:
I cannot front. Every since the Falcons lost, I have not been too into the playoffs. I did watch the Eagles-Giants game because I am a Donovan McNabb and Eagles fan. I love that they beat the Giants to advance. That makes it all the sweeter. Really surprised that the Panthers got beat. Pittsburgh has to be the favorite to win the whole thing now. Do not sleep on the Ravens though.

F The Police:
I finally saw the video of the police shooting of Oscar Grant in the BART train station in Oakland, CA. WTF!! They had dude on his stomach with three officers surrounding him. Mr. Grant is pleading with them when one cop pulls out his weapon and shoots him in the back. I am heated about this bullshit but I cannot say that I am surprised. It was not that long ago that the police ran up in an elderly woman’s home with a false warrant and killed her in Atlanta. I can understand people’s anger about this situation but I have always been one who thought that rioting was counterproductive. I also heard that there have been at least two other police shootings since the beginning of the year. It’s damn shame.

Anyway, I hope everybody has a good and productive week.

Black Masculinity: Barack & Curtis

I peeped this clip from an upcoming documentary the other day. Very interesting. Check it out and tell me your thoughts.