If finding me means losing you is it really worth it?
Along this journey called life I have found that one of the most difficult things for me to do is to find the balance of my growth and our growth. Sometimes these two things are going in opposite directions. In any relationship, it’s important that each person is a separate entity equipped with their own goals, accomplishments, friends, and private time. Blinding all of that together in a way that leaves both people “happy” can be damn near impossible. This I know first hand. I’m going through a breakup now. BTW, does anybody know why only the bad breakups end cut and dry and the good relationships seem to linger on forever?
My girlfriend broke up with me because she thought that I could grow more on my own instead in a relationship with her. I agreed. We both had gotten tired of bumping our heads on the same wall. However, that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
So here I am trying to grow as an individual while failing as a boyfriend. Again.
The first thing I did was find something to take up all of my free time. I joined a gym near my job so that I can get a good workout instead of coming home to watch television every night. I started reading my bible on a daily basis to work on my spiritual health. Lastly, I have spent more time with friends that I neglected while in a relationship. People are telling me that I’m looking better, happier, and god-willing smaller. All of that is well and good but on the inside I feel empty.
I know it takes time to get over things but who is going to make me laugh, kiss me slow or hold my hand in public in the meantime?
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
4.11.2010
5.13.2008
Meet The Parents
I’m real picky when it comes to introducing the women I date to my parents, especially my mother. Not because I’m ashamed of the women I’ve dated, I just feel Moms only needs to meet the ones with serious wifey potential. It really makes no sense to introduce every chick that I go out with to the family. Everybody has to stay in her own lane. Plus, my mom is horrible with names and I would hate for your feelings to get hurt when she calls you Shanica when your name is Blythe. Cause I’m not correcting her more than once. I’ll never forget the time that one of my female friends came to pick me up to go get some ice cream and after being introduced to her my mother says,” Oh, so you’re Tasha, the persistent one that calls every night!” If you could have seen the look on the poor girl’s face. I felt bad for her. She can’t say I didn’t warn her though. My mom has no filter; whatever comes to her mind…comes out. Because of that, my mother has only met three women that I’ve dated, my ex-wife, the crazy ex-girlfriend, and recently, The Cookie Lady since I left home for school.
One of the tenants of The 90 Day Rule is that to get a better perspective of who you are dating you should meet their friends to see how they interact. It doesn’t say anything about going Ben Stiller and letting them meet the parents. Who else (other than little kids) is a better judge of character? I promise you that my mom told me about every single shady friend that I had long before they showed their true colors. I wish I had listened when she pulled me to the side and told me that my ex-girlfriend was “in the right church but at the wrong pew.” Maybe I should value her opinion more than I do but something in me won’t let her have such a powerful voice on who I date. I think it has something to do with all those nights I spent laying in bed listening to her and my father go at it like Ike and Tina. Not really trusting her relationship resume. However, it is still important that she likes my significant other.
As I was writing this, I tried to remember the number of women who I’ve dated that introduced me to Mommy and Daddy. The answer is ONE!... WOW!… That really blew my mind. Maybe I’m putting way too much emphasis on this or I’ve been playing the chump for women who really did not care about me.
Okay, I need a minute to regroup…
I guess women do not considering introducing their mates to the parents until wedding plans are being made…
Anyway, let’s get to some questions…
At what point do you introduce your mate to your parents?
Should your mate take that as a sign that the relationship has reached a major milestone?
How important is it to you that your parents like who you are dating?
One of the tenants of The 90 Day Rule is that to get a better perspective of who you are dating you should meet their friends to see how they interact. It doesn’t say anything about going Ben Stiller and letting them meet the parents. Who else (other than little kids) is a better judge of character? I promise you that my mom told me about every single shady friend that I had long before they showed their true colors. I wish I had listened when she pulled me to the side and told me that my ex-girlfriend was “in the right church but at the wrong pew.” Maybe I should value her opinion more than I do but something in me won’t let her have such a powerful voice on who I date. I think it has something to do with all those nights I spent laying in bed listening to her and my father go at it like Ike and Tina. Not really trusting her relationship resume. However, it is still important that she likes my significant other.
As I was writing this, I tried to remember the number of women who I’ve dated that introduced me to Mommy and Daddy. The answer is ONE!... WOW!… That really blew my mind. Maybe I’m putting way too much emphasis on this or I’ve been playing the chump for women who really did not care about me.
Okay, I need a minute to regroup…
I guess women do not considering introducing their mates to the parents until wedding plans are being made…
Anyway, let’s get to some questions…
At what point do you introduce your mate to your parents?
Should your mate take that as a sign that the relationship has reached a major milestone?
How important is it to you that your parents like who you are dating?
4.17.2008
Looking At My Gucci, It's About That Time...
I believe that timing is very important when it comes to relationships. She cannot be ready for something serious while he only wants a friend with benefits thing. He cannot be ready for marriage while she is content to live together. In addition, each person has to be beyond all the emotional baggage from their previous relationships and prepared to accept the love that the other is giving. As we all know, it is not impossible to have but there is always an element of luck, fate, kismet, or destiny involved. Finding that one person who is on your same page is a mother of a task. Many people go their entire lives without making that soulful connection. Some people are fortunate enough to have multiple loves at different stages of their lives.
Question of the day?
Which is worse? Falling for the wrong person at a time when you are ready for love or meeting the right person at a time when you know that you are not prepared to love?
Question of the day?
Which is worse? Falling for the wrong person at a time when you are ready for love or meeting the right person at a time when you know that you are not prepared to love?
3.26.2008
Fool Of Me
I once drove from Atlanta to Detroit to meet the grandmother of an ex-girlfriend only to have granny call me by another guy’s name for the entire weekend. Should have taken that as a sign of things to come. Visited out-of-town friends of the same ex-girlfriend and proceeded to enjoy myself while unbeknownst to me the girlfriend was plotting her break up with me in the next room. I guess I’ve never had good instincts when it comes to women or relationships. I’m the type who finds out everything that really happened after the fact. Many times thru the punch line to a joke that I’m the only one not laughing at. This is one of the primary reasons that I have such a wall around my heart. The problem with being so guarded is that it can be just as difficult to get out, as it is to let somebody in. When you meet someone who is worthy of taking a chance for, how do you get out of your own way?
I’ve been known to sabotage potentially good relationships because I wasn’t able to get beyond my fears, insecurities and trust issues. The more a woman would expose her heart to me, the more I would retract from her. The idea of being someone’s fool again was not worth the risk in my mind. The reward for my stoic behavior was nights, weekends & holidays filled with loneliness. The kind of loneliness that is too painful to deal with so you just pretend it isn’t there. Thinking that you are hiding it from the world, all the while it’s perfectly obvious to anybody who has known you for more than five minutes. For a little over two years, I dealt with my loneliness in that fashion. Mind you, I was involved in a relationship during this time. Sleepwalking my way through it. I once read something that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said about when he really got to know God. He said until he was out of the reach of his well-known preacher father and his mother couldn’t come to his aid, he had just been pretending. By growing up in the church, he knew all the right prayers, the right voice inflections, and the right bible passages to make himself look like a righteous man. Once his house in Montgomery had been fire-bombed and everybody turned to him to do something, he really had to fall on his knees and get to know God. I was faking the funk in the same way. I knew what to say and what gestures to make it seem like I was totally involved in the relationship. Once I found myself in a situation that I really had to work to maintain the relationship, I just walked away.
Today, I find myself breaking down that wall from the inside. Letting the light of love come into my world. I’m still afraid of being a fool but I know that life in the dark is not for me. I’m taking baby steps but they feel like a Carl Lewis long jump to me. In the near future, I plan on standing on the podium receiving my gold medal.
Have you ever been a fool for love?
If you are guarded like me, what would it take for you to risk it?
How important is timing to finding the right one?
I’ve been known to sabotage potentially good relationships because I wasn’t able to get beyond my fears, insecurities and trust issues. The more a woman would expose her heart to me, the more I would retract from her. The idea of being someone’s fool again was not worth the risk in my mind. The reward for my stoic behavior was nights, weekends & holidays filled with loneliness. The kind of loneliness that is too painful to deal with so you just pretend it isn’t there. Thinking that you are hiding it from the world, all the while it’s perfectly obvious to anybody who has known you for more than five minutes. For a little over two years, I dealt with my loneliness in that fashion. Mind you, I was involved in a relationship during this time. Sleepwalking my way through it. I once read something that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said about when he really got to know God. He said until he was out of the reach of his well-known preacher father and his mother couldn’t come to his aid, he had just been pretending. By growing up in the church, he knew all the right prayers, the right voice inflections, and the right bible passages to make himself look like a righteous man. Once his house in Montgomery had been fire-bombed and everybody turned to him to do something, he really had to fall on his knees and get to know God. I was faking the funk in the same way. I knew what to say and what gestures to make it seem like I was totally involved in the relationship. Once I found myself in a situation that I really had to work to maintain the relationship, I just walked away.
Today, I find myself breaking down that wall from the inside. Letting the light of love come into my world. I’m still afraid of being a fool but I know that life in the dark is not for me. I’m taking baby steps but they feel like a Carl Lewis long jump to me. In the near future, I plan on standing on the podium receiving my gold medal.
Have you ever been a fool for love?
If you are guarded like me, what would it take for you to risk it?
How important is timing to finding the right one?
3.24.2008
What's The Difference
Single:
Sit around in my drawers on Saturday and watch March Madness from start to finish
Coupled Up:
Catch about one half of one game and see the highlights of the rest on SportsCenter
Single:
Early morning wood being relieved in the shower
Coupled Up:
Early morning lovin’ followed by hot breakfast
Single:
Random chicks that you could care less about
Coupled Up:
Your baby girl who you want to take care of
Single:
Buying marked down chocolate after Easter
Coupled Up:
Getting enough chocolate to eat and to play with as an Easter present
Single:
Checking out women on a warm Saturday afternoon
Coupled Up:
Having your woman point them out because she thinks they are sexy too
Single:
The frustration of running into the wrong woman over and over again
Coupled Up:
The satisfaction of having found the right one and not having to look anymore
Sit around in my drawers on Saturday and watch March Madness from start to finish
Coupled Up:
Catch about one half of one game and see the highlights of the rest on SportsCenter
Single:
Early morning wood being relieved in the shower
Coupled Up:
Early morning lovin’ followed by hot breakfast
Single:
Random chicks that you could care less about
Coupled Up:
Your baby girl who you want to take care of
Single:
Buying marked down chocolate after Easter
Coupled Up:
Getting enough chocolate to eat and to play with as an Easter present
Single:
Checking out women on a warm Saturday afternoon
Coupled Up:
Having your woman point them out because she thinks they are sexy too
Single:
The frustration of running into the wrong woman over and over again
Coupled Up:
The satisfaction of having found the right one and not having to look anymore
3.17.2008
The 90-Day Rule
One of my favorite bloggers,Vivrant, requested that I give a full explanation of the 90-Day Rule. The 90-Day Rule is not my idea but something that was explained to me by a female friend of mine. She had just started seeing a guy and she noticed that he was constantly getting phone calls from other females. Her advice to him was that he had 90 days to clean up his act or miss a good thing. One day I asked her, “Why 90 days? I mean can’t you tell before that if dude is full of shit?” She replied, “I already know he is a good guy and that I want to be with him. I’m just giving him time to realize that ain’t shit out there better than me. Time to cut all his Plan B chicks! Y’all men are slow to see what’s right in front of you.” The more I thought about what she was saying, the more I agreed with her so I began to apply it to my dating life.
The 90-Day Rule
In an effort to get to know each other better, the potential couple agrees to abide by this following agreement. Since handbooks or instructions for life were never provided when we were born, here to, there are no absolute rules. These suggestions and guidelines are design to for us to determine if we want to be a couple, fuck friends, friends, or none of the above. Different events, time of year, and even the weather can influence our timing; therefore, the following suggestions are in random order. We will complete as many suggestions as we can (and make up more if appropriate) within a 90 day period.
1. Nothing brings out the truth better than some good drank. It’s up to you whether to do this immediately or wait a few weeks. It is very important to be relaxed and worry free for this exercise, so make sure there will be no plans to drive anywhere following this exercise. It should just be the two of you, without your friends around to influence the conversation or your answers. Just you and your shawty, 2 or 3 bottles of wine, a couple cases of beer and a bottle or two of Patron ought to be perfect. If you are not into adult beverages, use whatever substance causes your personality to default to its truthful self. That’s it. Just ask all the questions that you really want to ask. If you feel like this is job interview, stop talking and find something else to do. Trust your instincts, live for the moment and do what feels like the right thing to do at the time.
2. Discover what the other person’s “outside the relationship” interests are. We all need to be interested in something away from the relationship such as a hobby or career goals. You need something that will make you spend time apart. One must be comfortable enough with the others interest to encourage them to succeed. You are looking for balance here and not an obsession to be with someone, no matter how “hot” you think he/she is or how afraid you may be that they might find someone else because you aren’t with them constantly. Too much of anything, even a good thing can be very bad.
3. Discuss what you want to be when you grow up. We all have our hopes and dreams no matter what age we are. What you want to do for the rest of your life and your goals for the future are an important issue.
4. Talking on the phone can be a delicate subject, especially in the beginning of a relationship. It’s great to have long conversations if you want to, but if you don’t, don’t do it. If you don’t cut it short and talk for hours to avoid hurting the other person’s feelings, one of you is in trouble and the other is being deceived.
5. Find something to argue about. It doesn’t matter what the subject is, but the bigger the better. Pay attention to how the other person presents themselves. Determine if their method is passive or aggressive. The two most important things you are looking for is if they avoid conflict or meet it head on and if they can honestly communicate their true feelings. Be careful, you want to avoid the “built up and later blow up” situation.
6. As far as sex is concerned, you both need to do what’s right for you. If you both want to wait, go ahead and wait. If you both want to discover intimacy gradually, you should do that. In the event you want to jump each other because you need to know how the sex is before you proceed, do the damn thing! You should be thinking about compatibility here. Frequency, passion, and variety with sex are most important here. Being in harmony is important if you are looking for a real relationship.
7. One of the most important things in a relationship is a sense of humor. If you are attracted to the other person’s sense of humor, and you don’t have one, it can be an issue. Making each other laugh is one thing that will get you through some bad days.
8. Meet the friends. It doesn’t matter who or how many but you need to make that happen. This will disclose any negative feelings one might have about the other. If someone would feel embarrassed to let you meet their close friends, your relationship is relegated to the jump-off category immediately. If that isn’t what you want call it quits and walk away.
9. Let it be known to your other “friends” that you are not available. An easy way to ruin a new relationship is if you are constantly dealing with exes and other potential friends. Nobody thinks that you were just sitting at home waiting for them but having to fight for time and attention can reduce a person’s interest level.
10. Who’s the Boss! Is this going to be a democratic relationship or is one person clearly dominant? Are you willing to live with that? Sometimes one person is clearly the boss and the other partner is cool with that. If you both want to be in charge in the same situations, that is when problems arise.
When the 90-day period is over, we will use this experience to determine our trust in other, lifestyle compatibility, and chemistry. We understand that what happens after this is unknown but look forward to getting to know each other in hopes of establishing a healthy relationship.
P.S. At any point if you determine that the other person is crazy, this agreement automatically becomes null and void.
The 90-Day Rule
In an effort to get to know each other better, the potential couple agrees to abide by this following agreement. Since handbooks or instructions for life were never provided when we were born, here to, there are no absolute rules. These suggestions and guidelines are design to for us to determine if we want to be a couple, fuck friends, friends, or none of the above. Different events, time of year, and even the weather can influence our timing; therefore, the following suggestions are in random order. We will complete as many suggestions as we can (and make up more if appropriate) within a 90 day period.
1. Nothing brings out the truth better than some good drank. It’s up to you whether to do this immediately or wait a few weeks. It is very important to be relaxed and worry free for this exercise, so make sure there will be no plans to drive anywhere following this exercise. It should just be the two of you, without your friends around to influence the conversation or your answers. Just you and your shawty, 2 or 3 bottles of wine, a couple cases of beer and a bottle or two of Patron ought to be perfect. If you are not into adult beverages, use whatever substance causes your personality to default to its truthful self. That’s it. Just ask all the questions that you really want to ask. If you feel like this is job interview, stop talking and find something else to do. Trust your instincts, live for the moment and do what feels like the right thing to do at the time.
2. Discover what the other person’s “outside the relationship” interests are. We all need to be interested in something away from the relationship such as a hobby or career goals. You need something that will make you spend time apart. One must be comfortable enough with the others interest to encourage them to succeed. You are looking for balance here and not an obsession to be with someone, no matter how “hot” you think he/she is or how afraid you may be that they might find someone else because you aren’t with them constantly. Too much of anything, even a good thing can be very bad.
3. Discuss what you want to be when you grow up. We all have our hopes and dreams no matter what age we are. What you want to do for the rest of your life and your goals for the future are an important issue.
4. Talking on the phone can be a delicate subject, especially in the beginning of a relationship. It’s great to have long conversations if you want to, but if you don’t, don’t do it. If you don’t cut it short and talk for hours to avoid hurting the other person’s feelings, one of you is in trouble and the other is being deceived.
5. Find something to argue about. It doesn’t matter what the subject is, but the bigger the better. Pay attention to how the other person presents themselves. Determine if their method is passive or aggressive. The two most important things you are looking for is if they avoid conflict or meet it head on and if they can honestly communicate their true feelings. Be careful, you want to avoid the “built up and later blow up” situation.
6. As far as sex is concerned, you both need to do what’s right for you. If you both want to wait, go ahead and wait. If you both want to discover intimacy gradually, you should do that. In the event you want to jump each other because you need to know how the sex is before you proceed, do the damn thing! You should be thinking about compatibility here. Frequency, passion, and variety with sex are most important here. Being in harmony is important if you are looking for a real relationship.
7. One of the most important things in a relationship is a sense of humor. If you are attracted to the other person’s sense of humor, and you don’t have one, it can be an issue. Making each other laugh is one thing that will get you through some bad days.
8. Meet the friends. It doesn’t matter who or how many but you need to make that happen. This will disclose any negative feelings one might have about the other. If someone would feel embarrassed to let you meet their close friends, your relationship is relegated to the jump-off category immediately. If that isn’t what you want call it quits and walk away.
9. Let it be known to your other “friends” that you are not available. An easy way to ruin a new relationship is if you are constantly dealing with exes and other potential friends. Nobody thinks that you were just sitting at home waiting for them but having to fight for time and attention can reduce a person’s interest level.
10. Who’s the Boss! Is this going to be a democratic relationship or is one person clearly dominant? Are you willing to live with that? Sometimes one person is clearly the boss and the other partner is cool with that. If you both want to be in charge in the same situations, that is when problems arise.
When the 90-day period is over, we will use this experience to determine our trust in other, lifestyle compatibility, and chemistry. We understand that what happens after this is unknown but look forward to getting to know each other in hopes of establishing a healthy relationship.
P.S. At any point if you determine that the other person is crazy, this agreement automatically becomes null and void.
3.02.2008
The Sweetest Kiss
I’ve been fascinated with kissing since I was eight years old. I think it started when the neighbor girl, Alice, and I used to play house. Alice was my first crush, my first “girlfriend”, and my first kiss. Don’t get me wrong, Alice wasn’t a fast little girl who was too hot for her britches. Those kisses were innocent play that didn’t lead to anything. Matter of fact, Alice would later beat my ass one day after school when I took the Elmer’s glue out of her school supply bag. The kisses were like finding new money for me though. Since she turned me on to the delights of locking lips, I’ve been obsessed with kissing every since. There have been some good ones, soft lips and just a tease of tongue, and some horrible ones, tight lips and funky breath. I guess I’ve been a little like Pookie in New Jack City; searching for that same high that I got the first time. I still find myself longing for that same perfect moment that I shared in my parent’s basement so many years ago but with a full-grown woman.
When I was in high school and college, I was extremely shy when it came to talking to women. Shy to the point that I once ran from a girl who was simply trying to talk to me. Of course, I suffered a great amount of ridicule from my classmates due to this incident. A few of my friends decided that this was something that could be cured by constantly putting me into situations were I had to interact with members of the opposite sex. This of course resulted in some events even more embarrassing than my Carl Lewis impersonation. It also brought about the first perfect kiss moment that I’d had since Alice. Her name was Chrissy. She was a copper-colored cutie of Grenadian descent that I had been sort of seeing for three weeks. I’ll confess. I was stalking her. Anyway, she was starting to feel me so we spent a Saturday at the mall. When the bus dropped us off at the end of her block at the conclusion of our date, I thought the time was right to make my move. The street lights had just come on and the man who lived in the house on the corner had just finished cutting the grass. So I grabbed her hand, spun her towards me, pressed my body against hers and sucked on her bottom lip. She loved it. We were a couple for the rest of the summer.
Since Chrissy, I’ve had a few perfect kiss moments but it’s been a minute. I get the feeling that one of those moments is just around the corner though. I’m walking around with chapstick and some gum in my pocket at all times. I’ve met a woman and the mood is always right when she’s around. Wish me luck!
2.10.2008
5 Ways to Meet the Love of Your Life
1. Strike up conversations with 10 strangers a day – You’ll build up an immunity to rejection, and you’ll practice icebreakers and quick responses. So when a woman comes into range, muscle memory will kick in.
2. Carry a neighbor’s bags – One truism: Women have friends. A Second truism: Women want to fix people up. Show that you’re a good guy, and you’ll start collecting numbers.
3. Pretend you’ve already been introduced – Your mindset will shift from hunting to having a casual conversation, and, most important, she won’t see you as yet another guy hitting on her.
4. Leave the office – On nice days, women eat lunch outside. Remember to turn off the phone and ditch the shades.
5. Don’t interrogate – She doesn’t know you, so questions are intrusive and make her feel like she’s being evaluated You want to engage rather than gather information, so share first – “I’m the youngest of three, how about you?” – and she’ll respond comfortably.
This is a piece of advice I read in a men’s magazine the other day. Seems like common sense but I’m going to try to do some of those things and see if I have any better results than I’ve been having.
Ladies, does this sound good? Fellas, what works for you?
2. Carry a neighbor’s bags – One truism: Women have friends. A Second truism: Women want to fix people up. Show that you’re a good guy, and you’ll start collecting numbers.
3. Pretend you’ve already been introduced – Your mindset will shift from hunting to having a casual conversation, and, most important, she won’t see you as yet another guy hitting on her.
4. Leave the office – On nice days, women eat lunch outside. Remember to turn off the phone and ditch the shades.
5. Don’t interrogate – She doesn’t know you, so questions are intrusive and make her feel like she’s being evaluated You want to engage rather than gather information, so share first – “I’m the youngest of three, how about you?” – and she’ll respond comfortably.
This is a piece of advice I read in a men’s magazine the other day. Seems like common sense but I’m going to try to do some of those things and see if I have any better results than I’ve been having.
Ladies, does this sound good? Fellas, what works for you?
1.29.2008
Bad Date Karma Pt. II
I think it was guilt that made me do it. I mean it was a forgivable mistake but I still didn’t want her walking around thinking that I was the type of guy to leave a woman waiting at a bar alone. Whatever it was, I agreed to meet her for dinner on Saturday at one of my favorite spots in the city. Something about her behavior the night before and the odd text message was trying to tell me that I should just walk away from this chick but did I listen. Hell no! You see, I’ve always been a magnet for women who are a few fries short of a happy meal. I’ve had a fatal attraction chick who tried to stab me in the park and another sister who claimed that she could levitate on demand. So the little display of psycho behavior from this woman wasn’t a real deterrent for me.
Strike One:
My usual rule about first dates is to make it happen during the day if possible. One reason is that I’d be mad as hell if my entire evening was ruined by a horrible date. The other reason is that I want to get a good look at the person. In keeping with that theme, we were supposed to meet for dinner at 5:00 PM. I’ve checked my breath, smoothed down my bushy eyebrows and am getting ready to exit my truck at 4:55 PM when my cell phone rings. It’s her telling me that she is lost but thinks she will be there in about ten minutes. If you are lost, how can you estimate a time of arrival? At this point, I’m starting to think that maybe she is getting me back and really doesn’t have any plans of showing up for the date. If that is the case, I figure that I can at least go inside and get a drink from the bar. Thirty minutes and two Crown and cokes later, I get another call saying that she is parking and will be inside shortly.
Strike Two:
I think of myself as an open-minded person who can appreciate people of all shapes and sizes for their own beauty. However, people who really know me would tell you that I can be extremely judgmental and quick to cut somebody off. That is probably why I knew this date was going to be a dud when I saw her walk around the corner wearing one of Beverly Johnson’s best wigs. Now ladies, I’m not against a woman wearing a wig every now and then. Hell, it can be a nice prop in the bedroom. It’s like having sex with different women without cheating. The problem with this wig was that it was just a little bit crooked. During the entire dinner, I wanted to lean across the table and pull it down on the left side. What is the proper etiquette for something like that? I couldn’t concentrate on anything she was saying because of this distraction. Ladies, what should I have done?
Strike Three:
The one personality type that I just can’t stand is a complainer. You know the type who is always finding fault with something. This chick here was one of the worst complainers that I have ever had the misfortune of being around. The place that we were having dinner was one the most popular spots in Atlanta so on a Saturday evening it was crowded. Having lived here for several years that is something that you learn to deal with and accept. She complained about the length of our wait for seating, which table we were seated, the strength of her Tequila Sunrise, the amount of time we had to wait for our food, the level of noise in the restaurant, the line in the women’s restroom, the amount of the tip I left, and how long it took the valet to bring her car. Then had the nerve to ask me what I was doing for the rest of the evening as if she wanted to hang out some more.
YOU ARE OUT!!!
Strike One:
My usual rule about first dates is to make it happen during the day if possible. One reason is that I’d be mad as hell if my entire evening was ruined by a horrible date. The other reason is that I want to get a good look at the person. In keeping with that theme, we were supposed to meet for dinner at 5:00 PM. I’ve checked my breath, smoothed down my bushy eyebrows and am getting ready to exit my truck at 4:55 PM when my cell phone rings. It’s her telling me that she is lost but thinks she will be there in about ten minutes. If you are lost, how can you estimate a time of arrival? At this point, I’m starting to think that maybe she is getting me back and really doesn’t have any plans of showing up for the date. If that is the case, I figure that I can at least go inside and get a drink from the bar. Thirty minutes and two Crown and cokes later, I get another call saying that she is parking and will be inside shortly.
Strike Two:
I think of myself as an open-minded person who can appreciate people of all shapes and sizes for their own beauty. However, people who really know me would tell you that I can be extremely judgmental and quick to cut somebody off. That is probably why I knew this date was going to be a dud when I saw her walk around the corner wearing one of Beverly Johnson’s best wigs. Now ladies, I’m not against a woman wearing a wig every now and then. Hell, it can be a nice prop in the bedroom. It’s like having sex with different women without cheating. The problem with this wig was that it was just a little bit crooked. During the entire dinner, I wanted to lean across the table and pull it down on the left side. What is the proper etiquette for something like that? I couldn’t concentrate on anything she was saying because of this distraction. Ladies, what should I have done?
Strike Three:
The one personality type that I just can’t stand is a complainer. You know the type who is always finding fault with something. This chick here was one of the worst complainers that I have ever had the misfortune of being around. The place that we were having dinner was one the most popular spots in Atlanta so on a Saturday evening it was crowded. Having lived here for several years that is something that you learn to deal with and accept. She complained about the length of our wait for seating, which table we were seated, the strength of her Tequila Sunrise, the amount of time we had to wait for our food, the level of noise in the restaurant, the line in the women’s restroom, the amount of the tip I left, and how long it took the valet to bring her car. Then had the nerve to ask me what I was doing for the rest of the evening as if she wanted to hang out some more.
YOU ARE OUT!!!
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