Crazy Is The New Sexy

The year was 1990. I was doing a summer internship at the Boeing Company in Seattle (Technically, it was Renton but y’all do not know anything about that). Anyway, my dude AB’s mom gives me a call and says that a young female friend of the family is in town for the summer and interning with Boeing as well. The girl was a member of Jack & Jill along with AB and his little sister. AB’s mom wanted to know if would mind hanging out with her and showing her around town until she made some friends at work. I was a little apprehensive about it because if she was wack I would have to figure out a way to ditch her without having AB’s mom call my mom and tell her how trifling her son was. In addition, I was just beginning to gain my confidence and come into my own. With a little money in my pocket from the internship, I had plans of getting my Mack on big time that summer. All of this went through my head in the thirty seconds between her asking the question and my reply, “No ma’am, I would love to show her around.”

That Saturday morning, I hit the barbershop and then headed out to AB’s crib to meet this chick for the first time. Mind you, I was gaining confidence but was not comfortable around women, especially attractive ones. When I rang the doorbell, I could feel a trickle of sweat going down the center of my back. It was only about 70 degrees that day. Lump in my throat as she opened the door. Standing in front of me was one of the most attractive young women I had ever seen and she was smiling in my direction. I extended my hand, “Hi. I’m Krush!” She said, “Terri. Nice to meet you. I guess you are going to be my tour guide, huh?” This was going to be a good summer.

For the next several weeks, Terri and I hung out almost every day. She worked in a different location than I did but we would meet up for lunch along with our fellow interns. After work, we would go out for dinner or go shopping with our newly earned money. Terri turned out to be a cool chick that was into hip-hop, sneakers, and partying. She was also a big freak that wanted to get it in every chance she could. Yeah, it was a good summer. At least it started out that way.

I have a theory about attractive women that says the more attractive a woman is the more issues she will have. I got that theory from this summer and this woman. One of the signs that I ignored about Terri was that she would spazz out about the smallest things. For example, she had rented a car for the summer and had some trouble with it. I went with her to the rental place to exchange it for a different car. The place only had a few cars on the lot that were set aside for long-term rental. I guess none of them fit her style but she had no choice but to select something from what was available. I help her pick a car and we drive off the lot. No more than a block from the place, she starts crying and talking about she wants to go home to AZ. I am like, “It isn’t that bad. At least you aren’t catching the bus.” Why did I say that? She becomes even more hysterical and pulls over to a gas station to use the pay phone (When was the last time you used a pay phone?) and proceeded to call her mother and pitch a fit like an eight year old. Her mom even wanted to talk to me because Terri was not able to get the entire story out. At that point, I should have distanced myself but I felt sorry for her being alone and the sex was good. (That brings up another theory about crazy women having the best bedroom game)

As the summer progresses, she made other friends, in fact I heard some wild stories about her and a threesome. However, we still got together occasionally to do the damn thing. It was not anything exclusive so I did not think too much about it when I started seeing someone else. One particular Saturday, I went shopping with another intern from North Carolina A&T. It was one of those all day dates that included lunch, shopping, and a movie. This is before I ever had a cell phone or a pager. It turns out that Terri was trying to get in contact with me the entire day. She had called the house a couple times and called some of the other interns to see if I was hanging with them. By the time I reached my house, my mother appeared concerned and informed me that Terri had just left and that she seemed upset about something. She also informed me that my friend, Corey, had called and said that Terri had called him asking about my whereabouts. Okay, I already knew this chick was not wrapped too tight and my mom had confirmed my belief after their initial meeting. Just then, the doorbell rings. I open the door to Terri standing on the porch with hands on hips and an evil look in her eye. “I need to talk to you! Can we take a walk?”

As a young man, I thought I was invincible so there was no fear in my heart when I stepped out on the porch with her. We headed down my street to the park. Before I was more than one foot off my driveway, my mom appeared in the window above the garage, “Where are you going?” I told her that I was just walking to the park and would be right back. She was not pleased with my decision but she did not say anything else. I knew that she would be watching me from the window anyway. We walked in silence until we made it to the park and sat down on one of the tables near the tennis courts. I purposely picked the table that could be seen from my house.

“So where you been all day?”

“First, how are you doing?”

“I’m a little pissed off right now to be honest with you. I feel like you are trying to play me.”

“What are you talking about? Play you how?”

“Who were you with today?”

“A friend. Why? You asking questions like we are a couple or something.”

“I know we aren’t but I thought we were trying to build something here.”

“Look. It is the summer. When August gets here, you will go your way and I will be on the other side of the country. We are just having fun.”

Why did I say that? Next thing I know, she has a knife in her hand. To this day, I cannot tell you where it came from but there it was and she was looking at me with bad intentions. So I jump up and start moving backwards.

“What are you doing?”

She did not respond. Instead, she started walking out of the park and back up the street. We walked in silence as I trailed her up the block. She got into her car and sped off. As I entered the house, my mother greeted me at the door with, “I told you that child was crazy!”

Questions of the day: What are the signs you are dealing with someone crazy? Have you ever had a fatal attraction experience? Why do crazy people have the best sex?

NOTE: CL is the exception to the attractive women are crazy rule!